Much Nothing About Ado

MY BLOG HAS MOVED

2011-01-26T08:20:00.001-06:00

I have relocated my blog to Word Press. Please join me over there - just click HERE to go to it!

Are we the best of choices?

2011-01-23T12:20:00.002-06:00

Reflecting on church attendance while I lay on my couch getting IV antibiotics, and of course, ironically, missing church....

Maybe I was spoiled. I was raised in a Southern Baptist family that made Sunday morning church attendance mandatory. We had a fun youth group at University Baptist, and SS was usually tolerable, church maybe not so much but we knew we had to go, so we did. Like many, I used college to escape from such obligations, but getting married and having children brought me back.

Thank goodness my wife is an Episcopalian, and while the story of how we made it back to the Episcopal church is one for another time, I can say that we were spoiled. Why? Because at St. Peter's by the Lake we found a church that was just, well, awesome. As I learned what it meant to be an Episcopalian, I was fortunate to be formed by the founding Rector of that church, Arnold Bush, who showed me and my Baptist heart that Episcopal Priests (and people!) could be evangelists! And I was shown by his successor, Barry Cotter, that Episcopal Priests could be excellent preachers. But more than that, I was shown by a community of faith what it meant to be the body of Christ, people who cared and prayed and worshipped and partied and laughed and grieved and fed and showed up for each other.

I am not sure I can say when the change happened for us, but eventually Jennifer and I became those people who showed up every time the doors opened - but not ever out of some sense of obligation, or feeling that if we didn't "do this" no one else would, but rather simply because it was the best of choices for us and our kids. We chose church on Sunday mornings over soccer or tennis, we chose special services over the myriad of other options, we chose work days over sleeping in and we chose renewal weekends over parties and we chose great times on the reservoir party boat with other church folks over, well, over anything else. It wasn't just about God and the Spirit, it was about community. And it was about living into the idea that doing for others is actually not just rewarding but fun, and working "inside" the church was not just important but life-giving. Cursillo renewal helped me in that, I think, teaching me so much about joy and service and the Spirit, perhaps we need more of that. But all that just kind of evolved over time, looking back I can see it, but in the midst of it, it really felt like the best choice was not a choice at all, but something we were joyously led to by the Holy Spirit.

I want that for our folks. I want us to be the "best choice". Because the truth is, it is all about choices. Sometimes we are overwhelmed, bombarded by options, or fall into the trap of the "obvious because this is what everyone does" kind of choice. But in the end, a worshipping community of caring people, dedicated to serving Christ in others, I believe, is the "best choice".

It's not perfect every Sunday. We don't always hit it out of the park. That's because we are human. But in the end, the first step is choosing to show up and see where the Spirit leads - new ideas of ministry, ways to form our children in the faith (is there anything more important?), ancient prayers and wonderful sacraments and great music. Saying by our presence - this really IS the best choice, and I too will commit time and talent and treasure to make it so for all of us.

Are you looking for a place like that? If so, I hope we can grow into just that, together. For those already along for the ride - God bless you for helping us live into being the best choice.

Slow Recovery

2011-01-18T10:37:00.002-06:00

It seems like the only blog posts I make, and even those rarely, regard health issues for me or my family. But once again I am writing about such, but with a promise of more posts to come that won't be simply updates on our struggles.

Last week I had surgery again on my achilles tendon. I had developed an infection that did not respond to oral antibiotics, so had no choice but to go in, de-bride the wound, and start IV antibiotic treatments. Ended up spending 6 days in the hospital following some complications and waiting for cultures to grow so could determine the exact mix of treatments. We got home lat Sunday night and started the at home IV antibiotics Monday evening. Thanks be to God my LW is such a wonderful caretaker, and an RN, and I am in great hands. Pray for my recovery to be complete and soon, and please pray for Jennifer, who has suffered from her own nightmare of illness this past year and who also had double-knee scopes done right after Christmas, she is hobbling around here taking care of both of us and I am so grateful for her.

I am sentenced to home for at least another week, when I will get the cast off of my leg and find out what is next. I am bound and determined to just accept and obey whatever courses of action the docs decide for me, pushing this recovery did nothing but make things worse before this last operation. The church is rising up to take care of "bidness" in my physical absence and I have complete trust in our leadership to handle things well.

Meanwhile, with my sabbatical looming, 2011 is our year to get healthy! It is meet and right so to do. And now with time on my hands while recovering, look for much more frequent blog posts, about things more interesting than infections and surgeries.

Just keep praying - it does make a difference.

Great Job St. Pat's!

2010-11-15T18:29:00.003-06:00

Yesterday (Nov 14) we held our annual Time, Talent, and Treasure auction/fundraiser for our building fund. This was a traditional event at St Patrick's prior to Katrina, and we brought it back last year in our new building.

The proceeds go towards payments on our building debt, which is quite burdensome on our budget. We had a lovely evening, the auction committee was AMAZING, worked so hard and so well together. Local vendors donated dinner, appetizers, desserts, and beverages and we had over 100 auction items. I don't have an official tally yet but looks like we will make even more than we did last year, considering these economic times that is fantastic news. I am so proud of our hard working and dedicated folks, and so thankful for everyone who contributed and bought items. Great fun, great food, great spirit, great entertainment!

On another note, went to see my surgeon today for an infection check - the incision has had some infection which we've been watching closely and treating with antibiotics. He was very pleased with how it looks and even gave us the green light to actually wash my leg with soap and water! OK, maybe that's TMI, but a shower without wearing a garbage bag over my boot will be so sweet. It does remind me of how blessed my life is and all the advantages I have compared to so many people throughout the world and in our own community. I give thanks to God, to my LW who is the most patient and skilled nurse on earth, and for all those who continue to pray for me and my family (and I ask you continue to pray for my wife, whose health has been better of late but still struggles on some days).

Deja Vu all over again

2010-10-28T14:58:00.003-05:00

Those not in the Knight circle of information (in other words, not Facebook friends with my wife) probably don't know that I have done it again! Yep - three weeks ago I tore the achilles tendon on my left leg. Once again I was playing tennis and it snapped (it was the right leg in Feb of 2009). It's such a weird feeling, that now unfortunately I am too familiar with, but it really feels like someone has SLAMMED your calf with a baseball bat. Of course, you have that feeling as you are falling, unable to walk (the achilles is what allows you to raise up on your toes when walking and running - it's by far the largest tendon in the body and is under great tension, so when it ruptures completely (tears in half), the torque it's under causes the feeling of being hit in the calf as it retracts up into your calf muscle). On the way down I thought "Who hit me?", then "did I run into a fence?" then "have I been shot?" then "oh crud I know what THIS means - lots of pain here I come!".

And I was right.

So here I sit, leg in a boot, non-weight bearing for at least 6 more weeks, post-op two weeks. UGH!

Surgery was in Hattiesburg at the most excellent Southern Bone and Joint (my ortho from 09, like many other fine doctors on the Coast, has left for other pastures). We go back first of next week to get stitches out and hopefully enjoy at least a few moments boot free (while a boot is better than a cast, for at least the time being I am not allowed to remove the boot EVER! I begged Jennifer a few days ago to take it off just for a bit, as over activity was swelling the foot and I was in agony. Being the good nurse, she refused).

Pain management is working out ok and I almost never take any prescription meds now for it. Getting-around management is another story. Crutches are just SO MUCH FUN, making every activity we take for granted a pain in the &*^%. .

The LW bull dogged the insurance company and doctor's office and got me a knee walker thing couple days ago - WAY better than crutches. Ideal for rolling around the house or church, frees up a hand and even has a little basket! Great invention! Can't do stairs with it but other than that it's great. You kneel on it with the bad leg and propel with the good one.

Meanwhile, many other things to talk about and I think this down time will allow me some blogging time so look for much more frequent posts, if anyone is still out there. I hope to begin rehab in December, so listen for the screams!

Five Year Thoughts

2010-08-26T23:08:00.004-05:00

All week we've been flooded with images - special reports each night on the news, the obligatory "before and after" shots, the interviews (often with the tears and shock of 5 years ago coupled with either "we're back" or "we are still struggling"). A great editorial on our local channel, WLOX, read it HERE , calling the President out for helping the nation to, as usual, focus on New Orleans and manage to ignore what happened over here, reminds us of our struggle just to stay in the mindset of people.

I don't even know where to begin, in reflecting on these five years. Do I talk, again, about those early days? The horror of riding that storm out, how it FELT, SOUNDED, SMELLED? The incessant howling (SCREAMING) of the wind, the nauseating feeling in my gut, the way the very low pressure made our ears hurt, the terror of watching a roof peel off behind you and wondering if you've put your family in harms way, grateful so much for the friends who sheltered us and took loving care of us for weeks after, the miracle of our own home surviving when so much was destroyed, the church flattened, finally being able to make phone calls - randomly and not often - finding my oldest daughter with the mentally handicapped people she evacuated from the group home she worked in, evacuated to Lord-knows where, took us 3 days to find her and see her and know she was ok, the utter despair and destruction, the mountains of debris (tens of millions of yards, trust me it is incomprehensible), the "Dorothy houses" sitting in the middle of roads they were deposited on, the unbelievable flooding of every stream, river, bayou, bay, creek and drainage canal, helicopters and National Guard trucks, and people simply undone.

Remembering the blur of day after day, waking up wondering, crying out to God - "What am I supposed to do today?" Here I was a person who actually prefers a little structure, a plan, something to attack and measure, and each day brought complete chaos with no plan and way too much to tackle, too many people with such great need, too much destroyed to even imagine it rebuilt, so we just got up, early, Jennifer and I and headed to the relief center, helping the volunteers who came by the hundreds to setup and unload, to tend to medical needs in the miracle of a medical clinic run and managed by my wife, to begin the clean up and removal, to hold a hand and say a prayer. How many times I followed someone out to their car, helping them with their load of water and food and clothes and diapers, heard their story, slipped them a hundred dollar bill from the checks I had cashed which had been given to us to help, cashed on road trips to Alabama since we had no banks, helped this one woman who loaded her old beatup Dodge Caravan with supplies, who then broke down crying on my shoulder, this worried and burdened woman who told me she had six family members sleeping in that car, nowhere to go, and I went with her and took more stuff and some sleeping bags and a tent and prayed for them and with them, never to find them again, hoping they moved to a shelter. Being so proud and teary as some teens from my church came and helped us at Camp Coast Care, they laughed and worked and played with kids that came in, all these teens also had lost THEIR homes, were staying with others, as so many families were, if you had a house standing you had other people in there with you, recalling my son, about 8 months into this thing asking, not in a mean way, but just in a curious-will-normal-ever-come way, "Dad will we ever have a night where someone I don't know is staying with us?', and Dad has no answer. We were blessed, very much so, so it was no big deal.

Do I move on or talk about the woman who almost died in her home, water to her neck, neither she nor her daughter could swim, how a neighbor rescued them out of a window and lashed them inside a boat tied to a tree, where they watched it all play out, tornadoes and wind and water and prayed the tree held, watched her home and car wash away, knowing her story was just one story of so many JUST LIKE THAT. Do I step away or talk about the friend in Hattiesburg who is a Chevy dealer who loaned me a pickup truck that I would fill up with supplies and drive around to all the tent "villages", especially in the Bay, and hand out what I had and money if I had it too, and then go back for more supplies and do it all over again. What a gift that truck proved to be, just in the nick of time. So much came to us just in the nick of time, over and over again God provided, in the triple digit heat and the dust and the great despair, God kept showing up, looking different every time, but present and there always. Always.

Should I talk about that or let you browse the archives of 2005 from this blog and see the images yourself in the media reports. Going there, just a little, just in writing this, is hard. So this must do for me, I can't go there too much, still.

Do I reflect on that 1st anniversary service, down at our outdoor chapel, looking towards our former church where the green tentacles of nature have taken over, where we sang and prayed and anointed and shared Christ and baptized two of our own, reclaiming water as a creative and cleansing force instead of a threatening and destroying one. If nothing else, go HERE and read friend Bruce Colville's account of that service, his prose capturing the moment beautifully. Please read it...

2nd anniversary, no big production, did a treadmill stress test and wept in my car as I looked at the picture of my seminary class, sent to my from the death bed of a dear classmate, letting all that sweep over me, the terror and loss and despair, sometimes it can creep up and tug on my sleeve, if I let it, and that moment in the lonely parking lot of a still-rebuilding hospital I had my time with crushing sadness and grief. Why did it take so long? I have no idea. Read more about it right HERE.

Three more years of rebuilding, of watching people come and go, of praying for direction, of traveling the country, of meeting so many people whose hearts were changed because Jesus said GO and they did, not looking back, and so what was once despair turned to joy, oh how I prayed Psalm 126 over and over, declared it for us, made it our own personal promise from God - "WHEN the Lord restored Zion, THEN we were like those who dream, our mouths were filled with laughter and our tongues with shouts of JOY. The Lord has done great things for us, and we ARE filled with joy". And then 45 months after the storm-that-must-not-be-named, we moved in, into our new home, our own holy space, missing still our volunteer friends, we claimed holy ground and sang with joy, we said yes that night to laughter, we said yes, oh yes, to joy.

There is such a big gap, so much more to say, people to thank, stories to recall, trips to remember, victories and frustrations, so much more. The archives of this blog have some, my heart has so much more. But this has been long enough. 5 years we will mark on Sunday. We won't look back much, or even dwell too long in sadness. We have a new playground to bless, new stations of the cross to dedicate, new (to us) vestments to pray over. We will give thanks to the army, God's army, that have given time, money, prayers, support, their very selves, to help us. We will count those blessings and many others, share a meal together, and proclaim that the Lord has restored our fortunes, though we may still have far to go we too will fill our mouths with laughter and our tongues with shouts of joy. For this is what the people of God, supported and loved and helped and made whole by our brothers and sisters in Christ, this is what we do. May God be pleased.

So we wait and watch....again

2010-05-03T10:58:00.002-05:00

It's really hard to describe to folks who are not from here, haven't been through the post-Katrina years. In August we will pass the 5 year mark since the storm-who-must-not-be-named. And here we sit, anxious and worried, confused and angry, puzzled and pretty helpless as oil pours into the Gulf of Mexico and drifts our way, bringing with it the great unknowns - do they have a CLUE how to stop the leak? Do they know what the environmental impact will even be? How will our poor fishermen, shrimpers and others, ever survive this hit?
What have we done? Why isn't more done? How could this happen? WHY IS THIS FAIR?
I kind of lost it a bit with someone the other day, someone who doesn't live here, who hasn't even seen "here", other than the news reports that would, on occasion, wander over from New Orleans to show where Katrina actually made landfall. His comment was something about "can you believe this oil spill mess? I mean, people just don't understand what it will mean to our nation and our economy and how much it's going to cost me in seafood price increases and gasoline price increases".
Really? That's the concern? It might impact the pocketbook and bank account of people far away, who only get their news in the sound bites they are fed and who for the most part are shocked to learn just how ravaged the coast of Mississippi was by that DAMN HURRICANE?
I was not kind in my response....

I am not one to panic. I know that there is much to be done and much I don't understand about how this stuff works. I don't think anyone knows enough to scream that this is the end of the world as we know it - it's all guesswork. But common sense tells us, even if they stop the leak tomorrow, there are ramifications on both fishing and tourism industries that absolutely cannot take such a hit. And they really don't know if they can stop it, which is what the little voice in my head keeps reminding me. But I refuse to panic without more information, and I am (recognizing I am in the minority here) not going to scream at the Feds or BP for their "slow" response. I think, like Katrina, this is something no one had really prepared for (although in this case THAT is inexcusable). And while they try many, many approaches to both stop the leak and contain the spill, some of those will fail, fail hugely, but that's ok - keep trying. We live in a world where we expect our government to snap it's huge, money-printing fingers and fix all our ills overnight, friends that's just not reality.
Meanwhile, as usual, there is another side, another story that has been told. Thousands of people have already signed up to volunteer to help with cleanup. Many, many local folks already have gone through training on beach and animal cleanup procedures, many more from all over are waiting on the chance to come and help. As I told my parishioners Sunday - don't forget you are incredibly resilient - you KNOW you ARE. You CAN get through this. God is with us, in the faces and voices and hands and feet of our neighbors. We can pray and we can dig in when it's time. And we will, of that I have no doubt.
In someways the anxiety and the "it's so unfair-ness" is more distressing than the smell of oil or the images we watch. It triggers something in folks who have been here, it weighs on us, it haunts us. This is the part I pray would go away, and the part I don't think anyone else really understands. A friend called it a "tipping point". Perhaps that is the best way to describe it. Friends - pray we don't tip. That may be the best thing you can do for us, for now, as we wait and watch again.

The 100 Word Sermon

2010-04-13T22:37:00.003-05:00

A few folks had asked me to post this - it's from a few years ago. As a fund raiser at an auction, the highest bid item was the right to select what Sunday I would preach a 100 Word Sermon! They fought over this! Hmmph!

Anyway, the winner, a mom, picked, of course, Mother's Day. So I did it - here is the result. By the way at our auction last fall we auctioned another one of these, I am waiting for the winner to tell me when I have to do it!

I had fun with this....

100 Word Sermon

You are wondering, can it be done.

Will it be good? Will it be fun?

You know, this is hard to do

Preaching this gospel, can my words be few?

Jesus promises the Spirit to lead us and guide

To help us love, in Jesus, we abide

I will not leave you orphaned, I am coming to you

The promise of our Lord will certainly do!

The Spirit of truth, the Spirit of love

Sent by Jesus on the wings of a dove

I must stop now, hope it’s been fine

That’s all – it’s a blessing, that’s just ninety-nine.

Holy Holy Week, Batman!

2010-04-05T21:43:00.002-05:00

I said on Twitter/ Facebook / Lkendin / Plaxo that this was not the Holy Week I envisioned. Of course that prompted lots of responses. Most were reminders that perhaps someone a couple of thousand years ago said the same thing.

Not that I am Jesus. Or crucified. I am just reporting.

It began the Thursday before Palm Sunday. I had the AWESOME privilege of Celebrating Eucharist at Coast Episcopal School, where we had a "Palm Thursday" service. It was really great. Their chaplain, The Rev. Liz Jones, who was my Rector when I was a Curate out of seminary, at St. James in Greenville, had prepared them so well. Liz was out of town attending her daughter's graduation, so asked me to step in. I was so blessed to do so! The 6th graders (the top class at this school) did the Passion Gospel, not just reading it but acting it out also. They were really fantastic. Great time.

Later that day was at the doctor with my LW (lovely wife), once again. She has been battling terrible headaches and sinus "issues" for months. Had an operation in the fall, and was hospitalized after that for complications. Things hadn't gotten any better, she is obviously allergic to something(s) down here, has started allergy shots, but meanwhile her face swells terribly along with the headaches. After months of trying different ways to deal with it, we agreed to surgery on the frontal sinuses. Since we wanted to go on vacation the week after Easter Day, decided to do the surgery the Monday of Holy Week, our understanding was a 2-3 hour surger, out patient, home later Monday, and some discomfort and pain post-op. We could not have been more wrong.

Meanwhile, my daughter comes down with a stomach virus, while at home watching a friend's baby that often stays with us.

So here I am Thursday afternoon and Friday - trying to think and began writing Holy Week sermons, still working on the liturgies (we were doing some real different stuff for our first Holy Week in our new buildings), sitting in the den as the LW is in the bed suffering from more headaches, and daughter is puking her guts up, needing my attention a good bit (and rightfully so). I was not feeling good about all this.

I managed to get Palm Sunday sermon done, and able to communicate to the secretary to use same bulletins as last year for MT (Maundy Thursday) and GF (Good Friday) services. Saturday was more of the same, with daughter still pretty sick and LW not able to get up much.

Palm Sunday was fun and good. I preached on the Philipians passage. Passion Sunday is a favorite of our parish and we began the procession this year in the center of our recently constructed outdoor labyrinth. My son played guitar as we processed and folks actually sang (Sing Hosanna, Sing Hosanna, Sing Hosanna to the king of kings!). At the doors of the worship hall, we said another collect and switched to the more traditional All Glory, Laud, and Honor.

Monday was surgery. I did ask a dear friend who is a retired priest in our parish to take the Monday evening Eucharist, in case I got delayed at the hospital. Boy, was that an understatement! My poor LW's surgery took 6 hours! It's very meticulous going, working on the frontal sinuses by entering in through the eyebrows, avoiding nerve bundles (and of course, the brain!), but the doc felt great about all he had done. No question of the need to do it, lots of thick mucous that was not draining. He put in stints to create bigger "drain holes" from the frontal to the nose, which should stay in a couple of months to make sure scarring does not close up the holes. Since the operation took so long, felt LW should stay overnight with some pain management too.

My daughter has by now recovered, and as a soon-to-graduate nursing student, did me the huge favor of spending the nite in the hospital. Brought LW home Tuesday afternoon, got another retired priest to take the Tue night Eucharist.

Tuesday night was miserable - LW in much pain and discomfort. Looks HORRIBLE from all the bruising from the procedure. Breaks my heart to see her suffer so.

Wednesday I keep a promise to my son to take him to the DMV to take his driving road test for his license. He's ready - we've spent a lot of hours on the road. While we are there get a frantic call from LW, daughter has sliced her finger open cutting some cheese and they are on the way to an Urgent Care clinic, probably need stitches. My LW has NO business being out of bed but off she goes with daughter. My son passes (yay) the test and we head straight there. We are not happy with the care at this place (wound is deep and on the joint so we prefer stitches, they offer glue) and then go to the ER. I finally convince the LW to go home and go to bed, so the newly minted driver takes her home. This event will take a lot out of her. 5 stitches later, daughter is ready to go home. The ER visit has taken forever, of course, and our Tennebrae service has already started. This is the first time for us to do Tennebrae, EVER, at our parish and I had to turn it over to the very capable hands our our Deacon and Verger. They did a great job. I learned that doing the whole thing can be too long, so if we do it again we will take the shorter version I think.

So now I am oh-for-three on Holy Week services, have no sermons done for the rest of the week (although I did sketch out MT, GF, and a little of Easter Sunday while in the waiting room for 8 hours Monday morning). And Wednesday night turned into a terrible nightmare for LW, tremendous pain and discomfort, no sleep at all, misery. We go straight to the doctor's office and he decides to admit her to get a handle on things. Thank you!

We get her checked in and when my daughter is able to come up, I arrive at the MT service 2 minutes before kickoff, sermon somewhat done. It's a nice service, I think the sermon is an interesting one, I took a very different approach this year. I am disappointed in the turnout. I know I shouldn't worry about numbers but so much work goes into these Holy Week services that it does disappoint me to have such a small turnout. Maybe Foot Washing just is too gross for folks to come participate? But isn't that kinda the point?

Back to hospital until about midnight, daughter stays again, LW is only slightly improved.

Electronically I edit and update bulletin for the Easter Vigil - it's a biggie! I have crazy ideas about baptism and rearranging space that I am very excited about. We had reoriented the worship space for Lent, turned chairs to a semi-circular seating, moved the altar to a different wall, etc. During Holy Week I turned the chairs again, this time to a choir-type seating (facing each other). The center aisle quite wide and in the center is where the Tennebrae candles went, the Foot Washing stations were, and Veneration of the Cross was to take place - and then the baptisms at the Vigil.

Early Friday morning I write GF sermon, think a little about Vigil homily, finish proofing Vigil bulletin and Sunday bulletin, go to hospital to hang out with my poor wife, still not better, go back to noon GF service to find my Deacon is ill and won't be there, Verger and I do the service, it goes very well, go back to hospital until time for the 6 pm service, do it all again, go back to hospital. Thankfully my sister-in-law and mother-in-law spend afternoon and evening at the hospital, a big help.

My oldest daughter arrives in town to help out, and she spends most of Saturday at hospital. LW is improving. Saturday from 10 to about 3 we setup church for the Vigil, move the altar and chairs, clean up the buildings, cut the grass, prepare to light the new fire in the center of the labyrinth, mop and sweep and you name it. A great group of St. Pat's folks are on hand to do all this work. I meet with baptismal families for rehearsal, then head to hospital for couple of hours.

The Great Vigil of Easter was one of the best services we've ever done. We do the salvation history lessons by using storytellers and they all did a great job. In the center is the Paschal candle and a huge wash tub for baptisms. Stories are told by candlelight, and then I baptize a baby, a 4 yr old and 6 yr old. The older two are siblings. I baptized the baby first, dipping the shell into the sanctified water that was blessed in the tub. Then the siblings stepped into the tub, the older girl giggling, the younger boy smiling. Liz was on hand to help and she baptized the girl, who giggled the whole time, and then I did the boy as he laughed. It was FABULOUS!

Following the baptisms, the first Alleluias are shouted, all the lights come on, bells ring, you know the drill. I called the congregation's attention to look out the back windows, and there illuminated was a cross made out of the floor beams of our destroyed church on the beach. It was quite a moment!

After the 2 1/2 hour service, all family went back to the hospital where we did "birthday" for our oldest daughter, who turned 25 on April Fool's Day. Cake was shared with nursing staff. LW is lot better. Got home about 12:30, started writing Easter Sunday sermon, while replaying the Butler-Michigan State game which I had recorded. Stopped about 2 with it half done, got up at 5 and finished the sermon, headed to church for a very nice Easter Sunday celebration - packed house, pretty outfits, glorious service, wonderful Easter egg hunt on the grounds put on by one of our families who work so hard to offer this gift every year.

Back to hospital, sending my kids home to cook Easter dinner and the first meat we will eat since Lent started, LW and I wait for the doc to send her home. Have a good visit with him and finally she comes home, 3:00 on Easter Day. We enjoy dinner and then put her to bed.

As I said in my Easter Sunday sermon, I could not have been more proud of the St Pats people who worked so hard to pull off Holy Week. We know how to do HW at St Pats, and it's way not about me, obviously. They all did their jobs and did them well, and for most of the services, I was only able to show up just before kickoff yet everything went extremely well. My secretary, for whom this was her first Holy Week as secretary, did an amazing job with all the bulletins. Altar Guild, choir, vestry, many others worked to make the place shine and do make sure the liturgy went off like clockwork.

This is a long post, but it felt good to get it all written down. Way more importantly than Holy Week is my LW's ongoing health battle. As I write this, she's not well yet. She's better, for sure, but long way to go. I covet your prayers for her complete healing, for strength, for Peace. This has been a long ordeal and I cannot see the end of it yet, so I ask your prayers for me as well.

God bless you all - and remember - The Lord has Risen Indeed. Alleluia!

Wading in on the HOB/D

2010-03-02T07:22:00.003-06:00

There is a listserv used by deputies to General Convention as well as Bishops. And "used" is an interesting word - not many "use" it, but many do read it. You can also be permitted "kibitzer" status, which allows you to read but not post on the list.

There are about 10 or fewer folks who constantly post on their. You are limited to 3 posts a day, and most of these use those up fairly often. Some of the interactions get...um...extreme and personal, but not too often.

I wander over to it from time to time. My Gmail system throws all the posts into a special label/folder which I usually ignore and clean out from time to time. I have posted myself about 3 times since 2006 when I first was eligible to the list (by virtue of being on the MS deputation to General Convention).

Last week I dared to post something that was a bit risky. It came from my ongoing frustration with our leadership in majoring in the minors. The Executive Council, which is kind of the vestry for TEC and "runs" things between General Conventions, and is also charged with budgetary items and implementation of resolutions passed at GC, met recently. They heard a report from Kirk Hadaway, who is the research statistician for TEC. The news wasn't good, and it wasn't surprising, reflecting on how our denomination continues to shrink. This follows up with the State of the Church report we got just before General Convention, a lengthy and well done document that highlighted much of the same, with more detail and some thought provoking and challenging questions for all of us.

Yet at GC 2009 this report was basically ignored - you know, we had to talk about sex instead. And when the E.C. received Hadaway's report, they had almost no response. Instead they passed a "lengthy resolution" about Israel and Palestine and another about Afganistan. Sigh. While important topics, I wonder why as a national denomination our leaders feel this is where they need to spend their time - in the political arena? I am convinced that those "in power" have completely lost their way but are unable to see it. So I finally had enough and had to say something.

I will post my email below. The responses were not surprising. Some of the "inside" folks were quite rude to me. Many other people wrote to me (not on the list but to me directly) how glad they were I said what I said and supported it completely.

Eventually a decent conversation about evangelism and church growth took place on the list. But after a few days, it's back to "normal". Meanwhile, we will continue to do everything we can to reach more people for the Gospel of Christ, to make disciples and to serve others.

My post:

We have lost our way......

Nero fiddles as the Titanic chairs are rearranged.... (yes, I know I am mixing metaphors)

There is no doubt in my mind that this opinion I am about to offer will irritate, and possibly infuriate, many folks on this list. I get it. I do. I am a two-time clergy alternate to GC and I know that those "inside the beltway" have a hard time seeing what I, and many others, see.

Isn't it true that an entrenched bureaucracy cannot heal itself? Or has a very difficult time doing so?

Many folks on this list have worked incredibly hard at some of the issues I am about to question, and I hope they know I do not do so at a personal level. I hope they will continue to work towards solutions to really difficult problems. It is their calling and I honor that. But, I want to try to share with y'all how our conversations on this list, and the time and energy of our leadership on certain topics, looks to many people in the pews - the people who are convinced that, at least at a "national" level, we have lost our way.

So here I go......please be gentile....

The most striking thing I heard /read leading up to GC 2009 was the State of the Church report. If ever we had a call to change business as usual and honestly take a look at the REAL state of the church, it was in that report. I arrived in Anaheim thinking surely we would spend a great deal of time honestly reflecting, thinking, praying, discussing, dreaming about the implications of this report.

Instead, I heard nothing - other than the dire budget cuts that came late in the gathering, which can be closely linked to the status the report gave us. Cuts that included the office of evangelism! Amazing! Instead, once again, the vast majority of time and energy and focus was on sexuality.

Then, the Executive Council, which includes some dear friends of mine, meets for four days and hears from Kirk Hadaway some distressing numbers and trends and statistics on our dear church. Surely this was not surprising news? After all, we renamed all of our standing committees of the Exec. Comm to have the word "Mission" in them, so naturally we are focusing on mission - on church growth, new church starts, exciting ministry opportunities, ways to turn this battleship around - right?

No - we get a very involved resolution on Israel - Palestine. They "Passed a lengthy resolution (WM009) on Middle East peace-making efforts". They also "issued the church's first statement on the war in Afghanistan."

We have lost our way.

Don't get me wrong. Those are important matters that all Christians need to pay attention to (all people, actually, not just Christians). And I know some of this was in response to GC resolutions - which leads to the conversation about how much time GC spends on these topics vs. evangelism and growth. But what folks are not understanding is, when these are the focus reports out of GC or Exec Comm, other than a few folks in our churches, our people are left wondering what our leadership is up to. WHY a lengthy resolution on the Middle East, and not one on how to grow our churches? Why a statement on Afganistan that, I am sorry to say, has no more impact on US policy than if our local Rotary Club said the same thing over lunch. It is exasperating to see us still acting like we are a huge political force in this country, the denomination of Presidents - those days are gone! And I hope and pray our last act as a vital and valuable denomination is to witness to the love of Christ and not to make political statements that will be ignored by 99% of the country, much less it's leadership.

This is what the folk in my neck of the woods say to me, when they talk about the "national" church. They scratch their heads and wonder, have we lost our way?

I rarely post on here. A couple of times I have submitted something to do with church planting or growth. The posts are always almost completely ignored. It's not that that hurts my feelings, it is just indicative of the way we have come to operate. There was far more energy and many more posts about the audacity of 815 hiring, GASP!, a non-union cleaning crew, than there has ever been about the State of the Church report.

Can we not see this? Or have we so lost our way there is no getting back?

I want to hear, see, participate in conversations on creative ways churches are reaching the unchurched. How they are making real disciples out of their people, who cannot wait to go outside the doors of their church and be the hands and feet of Christ in the world. I commend the E.C. on the support of Haiti and the wonderful goal of 10 million to support them. This is one way forward, but it has to reach to the local level somehow. We do these things because we are followers of a Risen Lord who taught us to love one another as He loves us. How are people making an impact, in Jesus' name, in their communities? Where are churches growing and what methods are they using? How are dioceses changing their COM in such a way as to recognize a new breed of entrepreneurial leadership that can start new churches and reach whole new groups of people? THAT'S a conversation to get excited about, and one I desperately wish would take place from the national level on down.

I left a comfortable job and very satisfactory way of life to enter seminary at 40 years old because I felt a call from God in Christ to preach the good news of salvation and to help make better disciples of those who believe, and because I felt I had a unique story to tell of reconciliation and hope. This is what I need my national church to help me do, and I pledge to help any others with my small contributions. For the sake of Christ and our church, I hope and pray we can focus our time, attention, energy, incredible brain power, love, and the unique things our church has to offer, to a world looking for Jesus, whether they know it or not.

Perhaps we can find our way, again.

A Holy, and different, Lent

2010-02-17T09:11:00.003-06:00

Lent of 2009 we were getting ready. After 3 1/2 years in exile since the hurricane, our new building was going up. We were excited and anxious, and somewhere WAY past ready....
So we paused. During Lent, we reflected and we remembered. Then we looked ahead. Our focus during Lent and Holy Week of 2009 was on returning from exile. What is it like, to return? To come back? What's the same? What's different? How are we different?
I had been saying since the storm-that-should-not-be-named, that if the end result was we were the same as we were before, what a shame that would be. We are forever changed, and despite the human tendency to revert, find "normal" again, halt these changes forced upon us, we cannot now, nor ever, deny how we've been shaped by what we've been through. Some of that is good, some not so much. At the core, though, is this sense of incredible gratitude - for we cannot look at our beautiful new buildings without seeing the faces of so many people who came to our aid and who helped make it happen.
Consequently, we are changed by their love, just like we are all changed by God's love. In both cases, it's love that we did not earn or even deserve, yet was and is freely given. With that at our core, how could we ever be the same?
So Lent 2010 is upon us. This year, as I think and pray and plan Lenten sermons and liturgies, the focus may be on home, home in the true sense of warmth, welcome, security, hospitality - now that we are home, how do we fling these doors open, reach out to our community, be much more present in word and deed, and invite, intentionally and ferociously, others in our community to come "home" too, to be with us, to teach us, to join us?
Could be an interesting time. You, too, are invited to the observance of a Holy Lent. I pray you will do so in whatever faith community you find yourself in - wherever you find home.

Asking for prayers...

2010-01-28T08:14:00.002-06:00

Sometimes when you are in this "bidness" you can forget to ask for prayers for yourself and family. It's been a very intense pastoral care week at St Pats - our first funeral of a parishioner in our new building (horrible train - car accident), another great family who is losing a loved one, two other families in real crisis (can't say more). It becomes a challenge to be everywhere you need to be.
And on the home front, my daughter, whose illness was chronicled on here a year or so ago, is having difficulty again. In a lot of pain and discomfort. She and my LW are back at the university hospital today for doctor visits, and some additional tests are already scheduled for later this month. Just cannot find out what's causing all this.
My wife was in the hospital 3 times before Christmas - sinus surgery, then they had to go back in, then had to be put in the hospital a 3rd time to manage things. She's really no better, in fact I think she is far worse than before the surgery. Everyday wakes up with her face swollen and severe headaches.
I think we are haunted by some kind of Katrina Krud.
Then tomorrow (Friday), my mother in law is having a pace maker put in (a new one) and my LW will be her round the clock nurse, as usual. The next day I have a niece getting married (a good thing of course) in the same town where ma-in-law will be, so will get to see lots of family. Then we hope to take a few days off in New Orleans the first of the week. Good friends have arranged us tickets and access to a suite at the Hornets game Monday night - should be fun!
A mix of difficulty and good times ahead. Prayers are always appreciated - especially for my daughter, Mackenzie, and my wife and her mom.

New Year - Post More?

2010-01-04T10:44:00.002-06:00

Wow, it's been since August since I blogged on here. Facebook and Twitter have become my primary way of saying anything in the public domain. That's to my shame. 144 character bursts of wisdom don't really cut it (but may be all I have anyway).
So...most likely this blog exists and no one ever checks it any more. Who could blame them? I would like to write more and intend to for 2010. But may find another forum, because this one may just be dead.
So....if you read here, or have me on your RSS or ATOM feed and would like to "see" more, would you comment on this post and let me know? Otherwise, I will move to another venue, because the "itch" to write is growing stronger. It can help me process and share and gather ideas and feedback.
Thanks - if you are still watching!

A Time to Bless

2009-08-14T21:45:00.002-05:00

Monday (17th) is the 40th anniversary of Hurricane Camille, the most powerful storm (in wind speed) to ever make landfall in the US (at least in our recorded history). Sustained winds of 200 mph+, incredible destruction and loss of life.
I was eleven when Camille hit, living in Hattiesburg. It was my oldest brother's birthday. It was also the first night I ever stayed up the ENTIRE night, as we sheltered in the hallway of our new home, hearing the wind howl (it was about 140mph winds in Hattiesburg, 70 miles north of the Coast). Our house was ok, trees down everywhere but none hit our home. We were without power for a good bit of time, but otherwise ok. I won't ever forget my Dad taking us outside during the eye of the storm - it was the middle of the night, but you could see the cloud wall as we stood in the calmness as the eye passed over. Then the wind started picking up again, this time from the opposite direction, and we hunkered down again.
Two weeks from tomorrow (the 29th) is the 4th anniversary of Katrina, the most devastating storm in US history. While Camille destroyed 6000 homes on the coast of Mississippi, Katrina destroyed 65,000. It still boggles the mind, and helps us understand why so much is still not done.
Elsewhere here I have chronicled riding Katrina out and dealing with the aftermath, losing our church, etc. And while it is very true that much is left to be done - one thing IS done - our new church home! While we celebrated on Pentecost Sunday our first service in the building, tomorrow (Saturday the 15th) we will officially Dedicate and Consecrate our new home.
Bishop Gray will be joined by Bishop Howard of the Diocese of Florida (who spearheaded an enormous donation from that diocese to our rebuilding), and we will truly celebrate a grand accomplishment, made possible by the help of so many churches and people. We are truly blessed.
The service will be joyous and fun, and a BIG party is planned afterwards. If you are around, please join us. It's a time to bless and to celebrate!

Sink or Swim

2009-07-29T20:17:00.002-05:00

For those following the never-a-dull-moment adventures of the Knight clan, today was my turn for a near-death experience!
It wasn't fun AT ALL!
I was traveling today to Gray Center, a 3 1/2 hour drive from home, for Clergy Day at the Miss. Conference on Music and Liturgy, which started at 10 am. Weather in Jackson was pretty bad, and it was slow going from there to Canton. Unknown to me, the Canton area (Gray Center is just north of Canton, out in the "country" had suffered some flash flooding during the night, and all area ditches, streams, etc. were quite full. Even some of the lower rooms at Gray Center got water in them last night, which had NEVER happened before.
Remember I said "unknown to me"!
The bottom dropped out about 5 miles from GC, but I carried on, going slow, taking my time. I made the turn off the hightway onto lil ole Way Road, a mile drive to GC. There was water on the road, on the sides, but the center looked fine, I could see the yellow lines and it all seemed ok.
NOT
Suddenly, as I was driving slowly down the center of the road, water started rushing at the car from direcly in front of me. I was immediately surrounded by pretty deep water. Looking behind me, the road was swamped there also. I tried to continue, thinking I was closer to high ground in front of me (turns out that was true, not that it helped), when a "surge" came at me, it was like a dam had broken or something, water came over the HOOD and my engine died, of course. I couldn't get it started, and there I sat, water rising all around me, thinking I am the world's dumbest person.
For about 10 seconds I thought - this is not really happening. Then I went to "what the *&*^%(* do I do now? Do I leave the car? Do I wait and see if the water goes down? I was not floating (yet). I rolled the window down (it was POURING remember), in case i needed to go out it (power windows). I decided first that if any sign of the car floating occurred, I was out the window. You can't swim IN a car! The overflowing ditches on both sides resembled rapids, with very swift current, but I wasn't quite submerged where the car was floating yet. Looking ahead, the water was piling higher - this was not good news. I tried the phone (cell service is VERY sketchy in this area). Couldn't reach anyone. Finally got my daughter who was on camp staff all summer (although not on site at this time) and was able to convey to her that I was trapped and water was rising in my car and please call GC and see if anyone can come help - a truck with a rope perhaps?
Water is now filling up the floor boards. In my mirror, as I continue to think "what the 8(**^&*^& do I do now?", I saw a truck from Entergy, the local power company. BIG truck! They are stopped at the highway and I frantically wave at them. They drive forward, but when they hit the deep part it sends a WAVE (wake?) forward which lifts the rear of my car several feet up. WOOHOO! OK, it really wasn't fun. Then these two wonderful lineman from Entergy get out and wade to my car. The water is above their waists! By now it is over the seat in the car! I ask if I should get out and they say not yet, trying to figure out a plan. They can't come around me with the wench because it's too deep and can't tell where the ditches are. About then, Joe Green from GC staff arrives on the other side of the road, and he wades in also. These are really great people! We decide the 3 of them can push / float the car back while I try to steer it away from the ditches.
And we did! They did! Made it all the way back to high ground near the highway. I was saved!

It really was touch and go for a time, especially when the phone would not work and no help was in site, and I was contemplating making a dash (swim) for it. The water was flowing so fast and was really high at that point. As someone who has always wondered how people can be so DUMB as to drive into a flash flood, I can honestly say - I get it now. This water came from nowhere, on a road I have driven a million times. I was shocked / stunned by how fast and furious it came. I am grateful to God, and Dwight and Andy of Entergy and Joe of CBG / GC.
The car was towed to the Toyota dealer. It's probably a total loss. My middle child who is in Jackson this summer arrived as I waited for the tow and we went to lunch and then to rent a car. I am home, cleaned up and thankful.
As I read Facebook posts on my wife's FB page of all the people who were so glad to hear I was ok, I shed some tears. Thank you all for your love and support!

Some more GC thots...

2009-07-26T20:44:00.002-05:00

I know I promised some more brilliant comments! Or at least some.....um.....observations.
After GC ended, the LW and I were in Santa Barbara for a few days - what a beautiful place! I preached at Trinity, Santa Barbara, a wonderful parish that is helping St. Patrick's rebuild. They are tremendous folks there, had a great time. AND they put us up in a hotel ON THE PACIFIC OCEAN. We had a blast.
Back home now a few days, and really enjoyed being back at St. Pat's. Held a post-GC session with any interested folks after church - had a good turnout and really good conversation.
Some of what I shared with them plays off of what I've been saying here - that I think GC is too big, too clumsy. It's too much of a political bureaucracy. I know it's our polity, I get that. But the system is too flawed.
Take the position of the President of the House of Deputies (PHOD). Our current PHOD, Bonnie "We don't need no stinkin bishops" Anderson, by canon, appoints all legislative committee members (at least the HoD members, the Presiding Bishop appoints bishops to those committees). This year she decided, arbitrarily, to not appoint any 1st time deputies to committees. On the surface, this seems a good idea, GC is quite overwhelming your first trip and new deputies, by not serving on committees, will have a chance to observe any committee meetings and take in the scope of GC. BUT this also limits voices, especially young adult voices, on the committees, we have so few of those it's a shame to keep them off committees of interest. I know committee assignments must be a very tough job, but it is a very powerful factor. The same goes for dispatch of business and secretary of the house, they too, with the PHOD, can greatly influence what comes before the house and when it does.
I have stated before my disappointment in a "Committee of the Whole" to spend 2 hours of legislative time, in addition to lengthy committee hearings, on the D025 resolution (the non-repeal repeal of B033 of 2006 discussed previously). Again we spend time, energy, focus, attention on matters of sexuality, when we NEED to be looking at growth, mission, evangelism, and the decline of our numbers. To top it off, the budget presented on the next to last day eliminated lots of program from the national office. This is not a bad thing, in my opinion, except we removed the new office of evangelism! Really? We did agree to cut the next GC back by 2 days, to cut budgets for the CCABs (thank goodness - they are a post for another day), and thankfully limited some requested funding for PHOD travel allowance. Do we really need (or want) the PHOD traveling around the country / world speaking for the church, or even for the HoD? I don't see that in the job description (I could be wrong, wouldn't be the first time). Unlike the PHOD and quite a few others in the HoD, I am really ok letting our bishops be bishops, and particularly letting our Presiding Bishop speak for us when that is necessary (not that I always agree with the PB, whomever it may be, but that is an expected role of our Primate).
Unfortunately, we also greatly sliced the new program for Hispanic / Latino ministry and removed most of the funding for our mission initiative designed to raise significant funds over the next few years. I fear those decisions will come back to haunt us.
If I was king, there are a few standing committees and legislative committees I would just eliminate completely, but to mention that to the "regulars" of GC is to aim directly at the sacred cows they must protect - and trust me when I say they really can't hear you when you propose that they have served their purpose, and in this new age are not really where our time and energy and money should be spent. We must become a mean and lean church at the national level, and these budget realities will force that. That's ok - the diocese and local parishes are where the rubber meets the road, anyway. I anxiously look forward to how we in this diocese will address evangelism and growth issues, near and long term.
Lastly, please don't take my comments as a total disavowing of GC. I think I can be a voice from the "outside" that perhaps can help us see a better way forward. But meanwhile, there is much goodness about GC. Worship is amazing, and connecting with so many folks across this church is really terrific - especially the legions who have helped us in our rebuilding. I am very grateful for the opportunity to serve, and hope to get the chance to do so again in 2012.

Winding down

2009-07-17T10:51:00.002-05:00

GC 2009 is almost done. This morning the debate will center on Same Sex Blessings. The Bishops passed a greatly modified resolution from what the committee sent them, that does not authorize official blessing liturgies, but asks for study and collection of those for future consideration. The resolution also recognizes that in some states civil same-sex marriages are legal, and that a pastoral response to those is needed by the church.
The full text can be found HERE.
By the way, the evangelism resolution that was defeated, C069, is HERE. I have spoken to some committee members to pass on my great disappointment. They felt the reason for recommending rejection had to do with the resolution using a report done by the Church of England, but no one had access to the report. I told them I thought that was pretty lame excuse, because all the resolution does is ask our House of Bishops theology committee to study the how we can evangelize and recognize the uniqueness of Christ in a multi-faith society, and mentions the C of E report as a way the C of E addressed this issue.
I am happy to report, though, that a signficant document and resolution on inter-religious work was passed by both houses. In that document, found HERE, we very clearly state our belief in Jesus as Lord, reaffirm the Creeds and quadrilateral. The document and resolution are addressing how to live in this world of multi-faith, multi-religions and I think is an excellent resource. Now mind you, I haven't read the entire thing (it's big) but skimming the surface this is something I can support.
We trimmed the budget by 23 million dollars yesterday, and even reduced the asking of dioceses, recognizing the tough economic times (and shrinking of our church). I thought the budget committee did phenomonal work. A lot of "sacred cows" had huge reductions in funding, and it calls us to really look hard at what should take place at a "national church" (I know, I am not supposed to use that term, but whatever) level vs. at diocesan and parish levels. Makes sense to me. We need a mean and lean 815 (HA - that rhymed) and this is a good start.
Off to the debate. I will probably have another post or two. I owe you one on my observation and belief about how things are manipulated here by the President of the HoD and others, who are supposed to be "agenda free". Just one man's opinion!
I do thank the Diocese of Mississippi for the privilege to serve you all as a member of our deputation. And I must say that Eucharist every day has been amazing - incredible music and wonderful preaching.
Peace....

Long Day....

2009-07-14T10:20:00.004-05:00

I know you are probably looking for comments on D025. I was not surprised it passed the House of Deputies, but I was profoundly shocked that it passed in the House of Bishops, especially by a huge margin.
The resolution, which really is very well written (please read the whole thing HERE before making judgments), is being interpreted by some as repealing the moratorium on consecration of gay Bishops, but by many others as not doing so. It basically affirms our commitment to the Anglican Communion and recognizes we have canonical processes in place that we must follow in approving candidates for holy orders, including bishops.
In our own deputation, some who voted in favor were adamant that they didn't see it as overturning B033, one of the committee members who worked on it told me explicitly that was not the intent.
However, the early "play" on this outside of GC is that it did just that. But several bishops I talked to said the moratorium was in place, and would be until a gay bishop is consecrated - whatever that means. Here I quote deputy Stephen Horst of Connecticut -

"Ultimately, it does not matter what anyone thinks apart from Canon Theologians.
The opinions of the authors don't matter.
The opinions of those who want the legislation to mean this or that don't matter.
Of course, in another sense, there are opinions that matter....
On the one hand, the LBGT community, who now feels affirmed by this Church, matters enormously. Indeed, they matter infinitely, both as individuals and collectively. (This is one part of why I voted FOR this resolution!!)
But by the same token, the opinion of the wider Anglican Communion matters. And I would strongly urge them to take the view that this legislation CHANGES NOTHING in our Canons or Discipline, as was urged by both the authors and the Presiding Bishop, in addition to speakers in both Houses
I certainly admit that there are parties in both Houses who wish to claim that this legislation renounces B033. Yet I submit that this is not so, as D025 makes no normative claims, but merely cliaims FACT.
Legislatively, we are left with the implications of existing canons, and of course with the deeper responsibilities to Scripture, Reason and Tradition. (And additionally to Experience for those of us within the Wesleyan tradition, to which I would solemnly commend the reader, with the admonition that s/he be careful to distinguish that Rev. Wesley meant by "experience" from what the reader might mean by the same expression)".
--------

Needless to say, it was a long day at GC. It started with something that really irritated me, a recommendation by the Evangelism committee to reject a resolution asking the Bishops Theology Committee to report back on ways we can talk about the uniqueness of Christ in our multi-faith world. This committee amazes me at times, as a similar resolution in 2006 was rejected by the committee. It's like we are afraid to say we believe in Jesus, that it would be rude to say what we believe, and to whom we belong. Folks, we have a lot to learn about evangelism, but meanwhile, I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ. Some deputy "called the question" on this before more than one speaker could even protest the recommendation to reject, and debate ended then, before I could get to a microphone myself.
However, evangelism rallied with several other resolutions that passed, including some focus on church planting. I was pleased with those resolutions.
I am off the floor today, and I may wander up to the Bishops meeting to see what they are up to this morning. More later - I do hope you are praying for us all.

Fiddling while the Titanic Burns

2009-07-13T10:19:00.002-05:00

HA! I know I mixed "sayings" in the title - what do you expect, I'm not a Rocket Surgeon!

The title does speak to my continued frustration. Our Blue Book (which has the reports from all the Commissions, Committees, Agencies, and Boards (CCABs) as well as pre-filed resolutions) sent to all deputies before GC has an eye opening report from the "State of the Church" standing committee. In it they honestly report on decline in membership and attendance of the Episcopal church (which echoes that of other mainline denominations). It is a very sobering look at the "facts", the real data, and calls us to WAKE UP and deal with this reality. Yet there is no question here that all the time and energy is spent, still, on issues dealing with sexuality.
Which I am not going to talk about, today, on here. For a very balanced and well thought out post on this, see David Johnson's blog here.
We did pass, in the House of Deputies, a brilliant strategic plan put forth by the office for Latino/Hispanic ministry, asking for 3.5 million dollars to fund a plan to reach out to Hispanics in our country, with materials to help, best practices, church plant funding, education and training - it is very well done. You can read it online here.
This is the kind of thinking we need and the kind of project I can support. Yes, it was passed in the HoD, but with very little fanfare or discussion, other than several deputies who testified how badly we need it. I would love to see this same kind of plan for mission, evangelism, and growth for the whole church, not just "targeting" the Latino/Hispanic community (which I support), but a large coordinated well planned effort to grow all of our church as well.
I say that not only, or even mostly, because we are shrinking along with the other mainlines. But because Jesus gave us the Great Commission, to go and baptize and teach and make disciples, and when we are distracted from that work, when we spend way more time on insular fighting, we lose our witness to a hurting world. We have something profoundly wonderful to offer, let's talk about how to do that across the church.
Next post I will have some comments about how things run (or don't) around here. I am a little disturbed by how committee assignments are made, the way certain visitors are allowed to address the HoD (with certain opinions on the hot issues, without the balance of other opinions being offered), etc. Meanwhile, please, please keep praying for all of us - lots of difficult stuff yet to come.

Sunday in Anaheim

2009-07-12T15:20:00.002-05:00

This morning I attended the main Eucharist of GC - I was told over 9000 people were there! It was a wonderful service with fantastic music and singing. The ECW reps presented their UTO offerings, and the PB preached an excellent sermon about traveling light, but remembering to bring with us the sacrament of the reign of God. She was joined at the altar by the two previous Presiding Bishops - Frank Griswold and Ed Browning, a nice touch.
On Sunday there are no legislative committee meetings, but we do go back into legislative session in the House of Deputies later this afternoon. I am the floor again (as the only clergy alternate I am getting plenty of floor time). I am thrilled over some of the Evangelism resolutions coming up and hope they will be passed. They call us to develop real plans for new church plants, and for assistance for all our people in being evangelists to a multi-cultural, multi-faith world. We can NOT afford to be ashamed of the Gospel of Christ, and with the decline we have been experiencing it's high time we really focused on how to tell our story - which is a good story with amazing things to share in how we pray, how we worship, the sacraments, etc.
Tonight is a special ECW event with Elisabeth Von Trapp playing and singing, it benefits the Jericho Road housing intiative in New Orleans established by the Diocese of Louisiana after Katrina - a wonderful program.
More later.......

Dragging and Listening

2009-07-11T01:21:00.002-05:00

The legislative "stuff" continues to move at a snail's pace. We are a little behind where we should be right now, but it will catch up.
On the 2nd try our deputies (826 of them) finally were able to use electronic "doo-hickeys" to vote in an election process. I am so proud of them! If you want to be a little afraid for the future of our church, watch the House of Deputies struggle to press a button and hit send - it's very, very scary. I was on the floor this afternoon, so I saw it with my own eyes! Way to go HoD!
Yesterday and today the "Committee of the Whole" spent time listening, first one-on-one with people near our tables, and later via a lottery that selected who could speak for 2 minutes each, to opinions regarding B033 from 2006 - the last minute resolution passed to uphold a moratorium on approving any more gay bishops (the wording is different - but that's what it was about). Soon the committee responsible for that issue (World Mission) will craft a resolution for us to deal with legislatively on the floor. Should be fun!
Like many here, I am truly torn over what to do with this. I worry if we remove the moratorium we will be asked out of the Anglican Communion - a real fear. Or at least put on some sort of 2nd level group. Also, should we remove the moratorium, are we missing a chance to continue to witness and listen and debate and learn from each other on both sides of the issue? Jesus talked a lot about unity - how far are we willing to go? But at what price to go there?
The Archbishop of Canterbury, before his Bible study mediation (which ROCKED by the way, see David Johnson's comments here), basically asked us to be patient. He said the communion really needed us and valued us, but warned us against going too far, so that our voice would be left outside the circle.
That's the balance - between asking a certain group of our church to continue to be treated as if they were NOT also baptized, and asking the communion to keep us in the fold if we do lift the moratorium. It's really hard work, and I am in constant prayer about how to respond. It will be an interesting convention.
Meanwhile - WHAT ABOUT GROWING THE CHURCH? I am sad to report that the only committee that has completed its work is the Evangelism committee. What does that say about what we value, what we want to put time and money into? They have some pretty interesting resolutions coming to the floor soon, and hopefully they will capture the attention of the house and the resources they need, but please people - we HAVE to turn this ship around! Instead we spend an hour arguing the syntax of a resolution designed to keep some committees afloat that, in my opinion, have little to do with what a church should be focusing on.
The truth is, GC is a huge bureaucracy. The President of the HoD bragged we were the 2nd largest bicameral legislative body in the world. We should be embarrassed about that, not proud of it! And it feeds itself. All the resolutions passed must be responded to by Executive Council or by various CCABs (Commissions, Committees, Agencies, and Boards). When you suggest to a CCAB member that they need to cut their expenses and maybe use electronic means of communicating on a regular basis, they are (some are) appalled. "How can we do our work that way"? they ask. I think the better question is - what is your work? Why are you doing it? Is it really necessary to upholding the gospel and growing the church and serving the local parishes? If not, let's quit doing it!
And how do you get on a CCAB? Most are appointed by the President of the HoD or by Executive Council. Appointment implies you are someone who can take off work and travel a few times a year, some more than others. Doesn't that limit the voices we need on these things?
Why don't we change GC so that this self preservation can cease and desist and we can get mean and lean at a national level, supporting the dioceses and parishes in their mission work? Well, I guess you would have to be on the Commission on Structure or something like that to have a shot at changing any thing. Something tells me an appointment is not forth coming!
OK, enough soap box for one night. More soon. Be sure to go to dioms.org and check out other links, news items, etc. We have a long way to go, and we need all your prayers.

Looking for Jesus at GC

2009-07-09T01:06:00.002-05:00

Today was a bit slow, but the beginning of all the legislative processes takes time - excruciatingly long time. There were two legislative sessions, that didn't do much, and 3 sessions of committee hearings and meetings, where the real work gets done of preparing resolutions, hearing testimony, etc. before the resolutions get to the floor.
The Mississippi deputation is in the 2nd to the last row from the back - LONG way from the dais and all the "power" players. On the same row we can lean over and throw things at the Rev. Cal Calhoun, who is from Mississippi but now serves in East Tennessee. HEY CAL!
General Convention is huge. There were 812 deputies on the floor for the first session (1/2 clergy, 1/2 laity), and I think over 200 bishops in their house. The enormity is one of the problems with getting folks focused on MISSION and the gospel and Jesus...which brings me to the Presiding Bishop.
She preached a wonderful sermon at Eucharist today. Eucharist is amazing at GC, fun music, great singing, and pretty fast communion distributed to well over 1000 people. Bishop Jefferts Schori preached about the heart beat of God, the heart beat Ezekiel heard. "A new heart results in renewed creation – that reconciling mission we're so fond of talking about....Hearts renewed stay that way, living flesh not hardening into stone, when they continue to share that new life – the exercise of pumping keeps a heart healthy."
She ended equating that heartbeat to a simple word, whispered, hopefully burned into our hearts as well - "mission....mission....mission...." she whispered, and then left the pulpit.
Good stuff.
Legislative committees worked until 9:00 or so tonight, and we start back at 7:00 am. Unfortunately we have set aside an hour tomorrow and another Friday to discuss 2006 resolution B033 as a "Committee of the Whole" - the entire House of Deputies taking part (with the select few allowed to speak chosen by lots). B033, if you don't know, was the compromise resolution passed at the end of GC 2006 where we promised not to consecrate any more bishops whose "manner of life" was a problem for the Anglican Communion. There are numerous resolutions filed to "repeal" B033, so the President of the House of Deputies (PHoD) Bonnie Anderson proposed we set aside legislative session time to discuss it. However, the Presiding Bishop has said she prefers we not go back and repeal legislation from previous GCs, rather we should focus forward on mission.
I wish Ms. Anderson agreed.....but she was pretty clear today in her opening remarks that she doesn't care too much for bishops, or find them very necessary. It's an interesting dynamic, and a little confusing to watch it play out.
I would MUCH prefer we take some time - probably MORE than two hours - looking at how to turn around our dismal numbers. The State of the Church report is gruesome - we are losing members in distressing numbers. We need a focus and a real plan on growth, on reaching youth and young adults, on being relevant, on learning how to share this gift we offer as the Anglican church that can and is a unique and special way to bring people to Christ, to have their heartbeats changed, to learn to serve in Christ's name - WHY CAN'T WE SPEND SOME EXTRA TIME ON THAT?
Thank goodness there are some pretty cool resolutions talking about some real money for church starts and growth, and a strategic plan initiative to help us chart a better way forward. I just hope and pray it doesn't all get lost in the debates over sexuality issues.
More tomorrow.....

GC Begins - Rough start for me

2009-07-08T08:36:00.002-05:00

Well I finally made it! I think I am the last of our deputation to arrive, most came Sunday and Monday to Anaheim. I arrived at the Gulfport airport at 5:15 Tuesday morning (3:15 California time) for a 6:15 flight. Boarded and pulled from the gate, headed to the runway........and then we stopped. Bad weather in Houston, had to sit awhile....and sit and sit and sit and sit. 2 hours later we rolled back to the gate and were allowed to de-plane. Another hour goes by, then we reboard....roll to the end of the runway....and sit and sit and sit and sit. We finally take off, landing in Houston at 12:30 (vs. original time of 7:30!). 5 hours late, I of course missed my connection.

The airport in Houston was slammed with people, all trying to do what I was doing - find another way to our destination. Fortunately Continental had several L.A. bound flights, and on the 3rd attempt I was able to fly standby.

Things began to look up when I actually 1) got an aisle seat and 2) my luggage was actually there waiting on me at LAX. Took the rush-hour shuttle to the hotel in Anaheim, and here I am.

I was too late to go to the convention center and register (it's an impressive building from the outside, but was locked up when I tried to check it out last night). So I went walking around the area. The Hilton is across the street from a back gate to Disneyland, but you can't see much of it. Some of the roller coasters are within "screaming" distance. The quaint motels around the park are interesting - with names like "Candy Cane Inn", "Jolly Roger", and "Castle Court", I imagine they are some of the first "motor hotels". I found a place to eat, then wandered back, buying some breakfast food on the way (hotel breakfast is way to expensive).

This morning I actually went and worked out - the fitness center at the hotel is WAY NICE. Saw lots of Episcopal friends in there.

Time to start the first full day - more later. You can leave comments, if you behave, and I will try to respond to questions.

CAMP!

2009-07-01T12:20:00.005-05:00

This is what happens when you have your birthday at camp! Especially when your entire family is there with you.
We had an amazing camp session, my 1st as a Camp Director. About 100 5th and 6th graders and 30 staff went on a medieval journey, with an underlying message of "Surprising God" - with every connotation of that looked at through skits, games, songs, and messages.
I confess to being a tad nervous before it all began, hoping I had a handle on everything. But the one most important lesson I learned from Tom Slawson, who had directed this session for 18 years, was - GET A GOOD STAFF TOGETHER. And I did. I am so grateful for all their hard work, great attitudes, perseverance (it was SO HOT), and joy. The Permanent Staff was amazing, from the opening night when they had to ad lib some skits/songs, to the end - they worked hard, worked together, and made camp great for those campers - which is what it is all about.
And I turned 51 while there - and of course was treated VERY POORLY during lunch on that day. Sigh. It was a messy, but very happy, birthday.

And now for a non-church related post!

2009-06-09T17:35:00.003-05:00

USM USM USM USM USM USM

I am still stunned, shocked, speechless and beyond thrilled that the Southern Miss Golden Eagles are headed to the College World Series in Omaha! The only regional #3 seed to make it to a super regional, the Eagles swept the #8 national seed Florida Gators on the Gator's home field to advance to the CWS for the first time ever!
Congrats to the team, and especially their coach, my friend Corky Palmer, who announced his retirement a few weeks ago, after which the team caught fire and made their historic run through the post season. Way to go Corky!
I've been a Southern Miss sports fan since I was 10 years old (ok - do the math - but it's a LONG time). This has to be one of the finest hours we've ever had. We will be huge underdogs in Omaha (we open vs. Texas, number 1 in the nation), but regardless this team will fight hard and they never give up. Trust me - they never give up.
I am proud to be a fan of this courageous bunch - go Eagles!

Hail Thee FESTIVAL Day!

2009-06-02T07:22:00.010-05:00

"When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, then we were like those who dream. Our mouths were filled with laughter and our tongues with shouts of joy."
WOW! What an amazing day. Sunday, May 31, Pentecost Sunday, our first service in our new home. After 45 months in exile, working and hoping and praying, with God's help and the help of thousands of people across this country, the amazing people of St. Patrick's arrived in their new home.

Sunday was tremendous, an overflow crowd, incredible music (our choir has never been better, our congregation sang with gusto), special prayers for the occasion, and many tears of joy, all marked a day we will never forget. Truly it was a mountaintop experience for our church family.
I opened the service reading from Ephesians 2:19-22. As the words began to form, somehow they got stuck in my throat! All the emotions, all the smiling faces, the beauty and wonder of how great everything and everyone looked, it was all too much for me. I wondered in the back of my mind if I would make it through the service, or end up on the floor, blubbering like a baby.
I believe it was my most favorite Sunday as a Priest.
And what a week! With the help of Camp Coast Care volunteers from Indiana and Florida, and a huge group of our folks, on Memorial Day we moved every thing we own from CCC - altar stuff, altar furnishings, all the office furniture, books, files, Christian Ed supplies, nursery - everything we have used to "do church" all this time, we relocated (in the pouring rain) to our new building. Then all week was spent unpacking, cleaning, setting up all of the above. And on Sunday, it looked absolutely incredible - special and holy and ...... home!
There is so much more I could say and share with you, but perhaps the images from the day and the audio of my sermon can say it better. Click here for more pictures of the day (photos by Joe Gurneck). You can also go to our website, here, to listen to my sermons from our last Sunday at Camp Coast Care, and our first in our new home.
A special shout out to my wife's family - almost 20 strong showed up to support us on this special day, and to celebrate her mom's 80th birthday. It meant a lot to me that they took time out of their own celebration to be part of our big day.
God bless you all for your help and support - and please, come see us!

One More Week

2009-05-19T12:21:00.002-05:00

It's almost here.....this Sunday is our last Sunday in exile! While we can never properly express our gratitude to Coast Episcopal School and Camp Coast Care for hosting us all this time (and for Grace Lutheran of Long Beach where we wandered for a few months, and 1st Methodist of Long Beach where we held several "big" services), we are really, really ready to move HOME. Last Sunday, as I stood in the procession, having just prayed with the altar party, and the prelude had ended, a young man who was staying at CCC wandered over, fixed himself a bowl of cereal, opened the fridge RIGHT NEXT TO THE CHOIR, poured some milk (as the opening hymn was announced and we began singing), and proceeded to begin eating his breakfast. Folks, this is not an uncommon occurrence. The staff at CCC has been so very gracious to us and constantly remind the volunteers to respect our space and time during worship, but the truth is some folks just don't really get that - they have no frame of reference for sacred and holy space and time. So cereal gets poured, bagels get toasted (all the food serving for the volunteers is in the same room we worship in, which is really their dining hall), and people wander in and out and around during our church service. I love them all, I really do, and we will miss them at our services, even those who are just passing by to eat a little breakfast. They are here for an amazing purpose - to help rebuild our community, and I really am ok with them doing whatever they need to do while we are borrowing what is really their space on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. But I confess - I am ready for a little more control of the environment - sound, lights, noise, movement.

We are ready - did I mention that?

We start physically moving our stuff on Memorial Day, so we are busy packing now. Holler if you can help! Pentecost is the big day! Pray for us....

Triumph and Tragedy

2009-05-11T08:18:00.003-05:00

My first born graduated from college on Saturday. Those parents out there who have been through such milestones can relate to all the feelings this brings up - pride, fear, joy - many emotions surface. She has been through much in her 24 years, and she has some amazing gifts to offer the world.
Chelsea has been involved with kids her whole life, and worked as a nanny while at Delta State. She loves children and they love her. She also served as a youth minister while in college. She will serve her 2nd term as a member of permanent staff at our diocesan camp, Camp Bratton-Green, working the ropes course. She found her calling to work with people with special needs by serving on numerous "Special Session" camps - hence her Special Education emphasis along with her Elementary Ed degree.
This Saturday was to be a grand celebration - well deserved, well earned. She has arrived there not without some bumps along the road, all of which contributed to making her the wonderful young lady she is.
But the celebration was subdued, at best. This past Wednesday she learned her boyfriend of a couple of months had died very unexpectedly. He lived a few hours away from her. I am not at liberty to discuss what happened, much of which is still a matter of speculation and even investigation. All who knew this young man are in shock, my daughter is dazed and hurt and completely devastated.
We were to meet Brad over the graduation weekend festivities. Instead, his mother will bury her only child this coming Wednesday.
So as I beamed with pride as Chelsea walked the stage on Saturday, knowing what her own struggles have been, relishing how she has persevered and become someone with amazing talents and God-given gifts to offer the world, understanding how hard she has worked to get to this point, teared up over all that - an overwhelming sadness and some anger also joined in for my Daddy-is-so-proud moment. I hurt so much for her, and feel so frustrated that on this occasion, there was not a thing I could do to take away her pain or to allow her to truly celebrate. All we can do is pray and hold her. So that is just what we did.
Time heals and gives perspective. Because of what she has been through in life, she is tougher than she should be, at 24. She will make it. But the road she travels, for now, is not what she or anyone could have expected. Life is hard, and often so unfair. May God be her crag and stronghold, and bring her peace.
And.....way to go, Chelsea, my first born child. I am so very proud of you.

Quite the Summer Shaping Up

2009-04-29T13:40:00.006-05:00

Just got home from a physical therapy visit where my PT guy basically chewed me out! Seems I am way overdoing it on the injured leg. There's lots of swelling, and pain. So I gotta take it easy. I wonder if walking up and down all those piers during the Blessing of the Fleet (see pic on left) had anything to do with it? We blessed over 300 boats! The sea was too rough to take the boats out, so we walked the piers. It was a beautiful, although very windy day. Lot of fun, but paying a price now. I don't want to go back to doing church like THIS - again.

This summer will be busy and wild! First Sunday in new building is still on for Pentecost - May 31! The next week I go to Kanuga for Province IV Synod (pre-General Convention meeting). I do my camp session (5th and 6th graders) late June. Then GC in Anaheim from July 7 to 18! And sometime a little vacation with the family, leading up to our official dedication service August 15th! It won't be boring around here, that's for sure.....

Video Journey

2009-04-20T13:50:00.001-05:00

If you have a few minutes, would you mind watching this video? You can click HERE, or copy the link below into your browser.
It tells the story of St. Patrick's and asks for help in our rebuilding efforts. Please watch and pray about how you can help - and PLEASE pass the link on to others.
Thanks, God bless.

David

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IuAMjLiojc&feature=channel_page

Maybe Pentecost!!!

2009-04-15T17:04:00.002-05:00

Well, Holy Week is in the books. It was really wonderful, special this year because we know it's our last Holy Week in exile! Thinking back over four Holy Weeks done in borrowed space - two in a school gym and two at Camp Coast Care - I am very proud of how our folks have come together to make these spaces holy and sacred, and to be able to provide these special liturgies under difficult circumstances.
Our attendance was only fair for Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, but excellent for the Easter Vigil Saturday night and for Easter Sunday. The Vigil was really special. I was worried we wouldn't have a big crowd since, for the first time, we were not doing baptisms. But they came! It shows this Parish has really adopted this service and looks forward to it each year. The storytellers did a good job, and I was able to tie my homily into my own story telling (Ezekiel - dry bones). We renewed baptismal vows and I sprinkled the congregation with Holy water. Then the lights came on and the bells rang at the 1st Alleluia of Easter!
Easter Sunday was very nice, wonderful music and a lot of dressed up kids! We have an abundance of families with small children now, many of whom have joined us since Katrina and only know us in this borrowed space. Have we got a treat for them!
Speaking of - we believe we will take occupancy of the building mid-May! Keep praying! If so, we will move in just before and after Memorial weekend, and have our first Sunday service on Pentecost! Isn't that appropriate! There is much left to do, so pray we can make it on time. This is wonderful news! Stay tuned - and join us if you can.
Oh - the pic at the top is about a month old - but all the current work is going on inside.....

Holy Week!

2009-04-06T20:52:00.002-05:00

"The most wonderful time of the year....". I know it's from a Christmas song, but for me it screams HOLY WEEK.
I really do love it.
I don't mind the extra work pumping out bulletins, or the demand of writing 8 sermons (ok, 7, my Deacon preached tonight (Monday of Holy Week). I don't because it is just wonderful. Holy Week. A living and breathing thing, that allows us a glimpse into that last week of our Lord's life on earth. If only we could get all the Christians, much less those who don't believe, to set this week aside, this one week, and attend services, if not every night AT LEAST the Triduum of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and the Great Vigil of Easter.
If only.
Meanwhile, some will come to all, some will come to a few, most will only come on Sunday, having missed the story that gets us to Easter. All we can do is pray and prepare and rejoice when someone dares to step out of the culture of the world and say - this week is for God and I will commit to walk this path with Jesus.
I am doing a few different things this year. Their is a debate amongst preachers in the Episcopal church on whether to preach on Palm Sunday or not - the liturgy is so rich, the Passion Gospel so profound, some think it better to just let that speak for itself. I am reluctant to do so. Last year I preached a very short homily outside before the blessing of the palms and the procession (right after the 1st Gospel lesson of Jesus entering the city on the donkey). This year I preached a short homily just after the 2nd lesson - that fantastic reading from Phillipians. I will do this again on Good Friday, I will preach on the Isaiah passage BEFORE we read John's version of the Passion Gospel. It gives me, and the church, a chance to deal with some really amazing Scripture passages that can get lost with everything else that is going on.
At the Vigil we will use story tellers again to tell the Old Testament salvation history lessons. And we will renew baptismal vows (this is my first Vigil to not have a baptism, darn it). Then the magic happens - lights, bells, music, joy.
I can't wait....I hope you find a place to join in this most wonderful time of the year.

Lenten preaching - being prepared

2009-03-19T11:37:00.002-05:00

This Lent I decided to do a sermon series, using our new mission statement (which we developed during our Planning process for our new building. Before choosing WHERE to rebuild, or WHAT to build (focus on a nave, or more on Ch Ed, or a multipurpose hall for worship / parish hall space, etc.), we needed to take a good long look at who we are and whom we are called to serve.
Now as the time draws near for us to occupy our new building in our new location, I have felt God calling us to a time of intentional preparation. We need to be prayerfully, spiritually, theologically READY for our new life in our new home, in the heart of our community.
To that end I decided to take our mission statement and preach and teach on the components of it. I use it as the sermon theme for the day, then continue in a more detailed way, involving the parishioners of course, at adult Christian Ed time.
I think it's working pretty well. I can say it's been a challenge to me as preacher to try and use the lectionary texts of the day to make the mission statement-driven points. But I have really enjoyed that challenge.
Our mission statement is "A sacramental community, inviting and welcoming all to grow in Christ's love through fellowship and service". Lent 1 I did "Preparation", explaining why we needed to take on this work of becoming prepared. Lent 2 was "A Sacramental Community", looking at the importance of the sacraments to the people and history of St Pats, while also observing that it is only in community when the sacraments become the powerful things they are, and how that sacramental life extends outside of worship time.
Last week, Lent 3, was a tad more difficult - looking at "inviting and welcoming all to grow", with the gospel account of Jesus cleansing the temple intruding into my theme! Yet the "all to grow" piece fit with the lessons on the law and Jesus' insistence on the holiness of worship space and remembering the God we serve is not mammon. When we invite "all" to grow, we cannot forget who and what we are - this is not just a social club or civic group. To grow in Christ's love requires discipleship, parameters of our common life, and understanding our story. It's ok to ask those we invite and welcome to enter into our community with some expectations.
Lent 4 I will look at "growing in Christ's love", then Lent 5 is on fellowship and service.
It's been fun and difficult. As always, you can listen to (most) sermons on our website, stpatrickslongbeach.org.

View from a Chair

2009-03-07T11:59:00.002-06:00

The surgery went fine. Not only was the achillies tendon ruptured completely, a few inches above the heel, but it also "fileted" off of the calf muscle. Surgeon had to repair both of course.
2-3 days post op pain was pretty severe, but now it hardly hurts at all. I am completely non-weight bearing, so on crutches, keeping it elevated, having to figure out creative ways to get in and out of the shower, etc. I may be allowed to start rehab in a week, but will still be non-weight bearing, maybe through Easter! Ugh.
My wife is an absolutely amazing help, so patient and also very creative in solving problems in my world. She is the best.
I do church in a wheel chair. Since I am NWB, I can't stand to preach or celebrate Eucharist. I roll myself in procession and roll around to the altar, etc. The perspective is so different. I have a new appreciation for physically challenged folks serving in church, even though my circumstances are quite trivial compared to most of them.
Preaching is especially strange. Sitting to preach - lends itself, I think, to much more of a teaching mode. I don't like not being able to see or be seen by everyone. I don't use a text, seems silly to shuffle papers in the chair. But so far it seems to be going ok.
I am very glad we were careful in our planning of the new building to make it very accessible - not for me, as this is quite temporary, but for all those who are challenged physically, our absence of steps, ample handicap parking, and wide doorways will be very helpful.
It's not the Lenten journey I expected, but it certainly is one that forces me into times of reflection and prayer. I cannot drive and spend most days in a chair doing emails, phone calls, and reading, writing sermons, etc. Yes, i will be thrilled when I can walk again, until then I am grateful for an outpouring of support and prayer, and for my wonderful family that cares so well for me.

Wounded

2009-02-16T08:12:00.002-06:00

Well, the mini-sabbatical was just what the doctor ordered. Seriously. A perfect time of respite and refreshment, tropical retreat to St Lucia with my LW to celebrate our 25th, an extended stay in South Florida, full of good weather, great tennis, and good times, it could not have gone better. I feel SO amazingly refreshed and recharged.
Came home to our Diocesan Council weekend, a good time as well, and great to see a focus on mission led by our Bishop.
Back to work last week catching up on the mountain of mail, email, calls, pastoral issues, etc., as well as preparing for the St Patrick's annual meeting. Also - the church building! It's rocking on! Sheet rock is up, most of the roof is done, it looks amazing.
Then ...... it happened. Playing tennis Thursday night, as I pushed off with my right foot to cut off a shot and hit a volley, it popped. Loud and HUGELY painful, I had torn completely my achillies tendon. I have never felt such pain.
Long night in the ER with an MRI that confirmed it. I managed to go to church Sunday for the annual meeting, and surgery is scheduled this morning (Monday the 16).
I am blessed to have an LW who is a fantastic nurse and has really taken great care of me. I am non weight bearing on the right foot and will be for 8 weeks post op! This is a long rehab, you have to totally rebuild the calf muscle after the tendon heals. Pray for us!
I am not sure yet how will do church, but the timing could not be worse. Lent is upon us, and the move into the building may take place around Easter! Lord help us.
Fortunately the sabbatical time assured everyone that they can function at a high level without me doing everything (but St Pats folks have known that anyway), and I know folks will rally around what is in front of us.
Meanwhile - can I ask your prayers for the surgery and recovery, and for my wife and family? Oh, and I wouldn't mind if you included a request to limit the pain!
Thanks....will keep you all posted....

Sabbatical coming!

2008-12-28T07:14:00.002-06:00

My vestry has given me a wonderful gift - a "mini-sabbatical" for 4 weeks beginning January 9th! I cannot wait. 3 1/2 years of dealing with our post-Katrina world and ALL that entails has taken a tremendous toll on me and my family.
Why only 4 weeks? I am due a longer sabbatical, per my Letter of Agreement. But with the building project ongoing, I didn't feel I could be gone for 3 months at this time. I will take the rest of it sometime later in 2009 (probably after our "official" consecration of the new building August 15th - we should occupy around Easter but will have both our Bishop and the Bishop of the Diocese of Florida, who helped us out SO much in our building campaign available on August 15th so the BIG PARTY will be then!
The plan for January is complete respite time. My wife just lost her job, so she will be free to join me for most of it. We are traveling to St. Lucia for a week for our 25th anniversary (WOOT!), then will do some other traveling until early February. I am fortunate my middle child is in nursing school and living at home so she can take care of the 9th grader. It's all coming together very nicely.
I feel I am really limping to the finish line to get to this respite time, and I am oh so very grateful for the support of my vestry and wardens and parish for this time away to recharge my batteries.

Advent-ing

2008-12-10T09:06:00.003-06:00

No, that doesn't mean I need to vent. It's a new verb, describing that special sense we try to recall during Advent - waiting, watching, hoping, anticipating.
It also describes St Patrick's church. Our new building is going up! It is truly fun to see. Walls are in place, roof trusses are up, decking of the roof is ongoing, parking lot is ready for gravel. Pretty exciting!
Less exciting is the LARGE gap in funds needed to pay for it. Please see stpatrickslongbeach.org/5000for100.org if you can help.
But meanwhile - we watch it. We wait. We hope. We cannot wait. It's coming!
So is The One for whom we wait, and watch, and hope for. The child came, God became one of us. And He shall come again. So this Advent, we are Advent-ing on a couple of levels - and maybe, this time, we really get it?
Will you watch with us?

OK for us for now

2008-09-01T22:39:00.002-05:00

Word from the MS Coast is we dodged a bullet. There is some pretty bad flooding in some low lying areas, especially in Hancock County. There is no power in my neighborhood in the Pass, but all in all in pretty good shape. I will head home in the morning (Tue).
I am so thankful for the prayers and the support from so many. We continue to pray for all those suffering from this storm and who remain in its path.
We will decide by Wednesday if we will continue with the plans for the Ground Breaking on Saturday. May need to postpone as folks concentrate on clean up. Will post something on here when we know.
Again, thank you all. It was a LONG few days. Earlier today I felt very anxious, almost anxiety-attack like. I read Bishop Jenkin's (Louisiana) blog here, and could relate so much to what he said. It is PTSD I believe, all this triggering those still raw and painful memories, fears, anxieties. A mixture of nausea and worry and anxiety and the like, I suppose. No fun, and my own personal material losses from Katrina were quite small compared to most. I know the psychological impact on people from Gustav will be something to deal with.
Keep praying, friends.

Gustav and Year Three

2008-08-29T10:22:00.003-05:00

Friends.
It's the 3rd anniversary of Katrina. Intentionally we are not doing anything special today, church wise. Good thing, as the level of anxiety down here right now is off the charts. As Gustav churns away almost 1100 miles south, we all anxiously watch the projected path and intensity. Two days ago we were square in the center of the "cone of uncertainty", and despite being constantly told that it was way too early to project an exact path, something about being on that middle line drove people over the edge.
Which is really ok. Preparations are on going. Folks are, I think, much more ready this time. Evacuation plans, gassing up, etc. done way ahead of the usual pace.
Today the center line of the path is west of us, but we certainly are still in the midst of the projection. But seeing that line move, it calms people down some. It shouldn't, but it does.
We know better. From Ivan and Katrina, from storms of all the past years, we KNOW that once it gets in the gulf, it really could go anywhere. The tracking will narrow it down in time, but by the time that happens, it's too late to do all the things we are finishing today. I am glad we are paying attention. I am not glad about the frayed nerves, the relived trauma, the rawness of this event, on the 3rd anniversary of "that" one.
Last year I posted THIS on the anniversary date. This year I was hoping to let it slip by as we prepare for the ground breaking of our new building in a week. But Gustav changed all that. Once again we are reminded of the cost of living here, a cost not just in having to go through all this, but also an even greater cost, I think, in stress and fear. This reminder, even if we do not take a big hit, will send some more people to other locations, leaving the coast behind forever.
I pray this storm shrinks and is a non event. Forecasts claim otherwise. I am grateful for all the prayers and support. Today and yesterday I have heard from many, many people across the country who are concerned for us, and it reminds me yet again of how we are all connected. The body of Christ is stronger than any storm, and I am so appreciative of those parts of the body that continue to hold us up when we need it. God bless you all.

Ground Breaking

2008-08-22T07:17:00.002-05:00

Friends - we will have an official ground breaking - with at least one bishop and other dignataries, on September 6th at 10:00 am! If you are in the area, please join us for this exciting event - we will feed you a picnic lunch. I hope you will celebrate with our people this milestone.
Thanks for your continued support and prayers.

It's time to DIG!!!

2008-08-06T18:33:00.002-05:00

My friends, I am so very pleased and excited to announce - we are ready to GO on our new building. We have permits in hand from the city and site work will begin THIS WEEK! Our contractor has ordered materials and we will approve final plans this Thursday (7th).
I cannot even tell you what this means to me and to our people. When I received the news that the permits were ready to be issued, I wept. This milestone was so long in coming. What a witness to the resilience of our people, and the incredible help we have received.
Speaking of help, we are still hoping for those who can give a little to help make this building a reality. If you go to our SITE, you can donate online. Please think about it and pray about it. We are very excited about our future in Long Beach, and as the 3rd anniversary of Katrina bears down on us, we are ever more committed to being a viable presence in our community.
On a personal note, just got back from vacation and catching up in the office and on the road. Made plans for two fund raising trips (Chicago and San Francisco - if you are in those areas PLEASE let me know). And my son entered high school today - another milestone.
Soon to come - pictures from the construction site....

The BIG FIVE OH

2008-07-11T08:20:00.002-05:00

I, um, somehow, er, forgot to mention that, while I was at camp, I had an...um...birthday.
Sigh.
50. For some reason this one really got to me. I have been dreading it all year. It's a shock, and I mean that, to think about. How did this happen? Am I really 50???
It's a year of getting healthy for me - physically, spiritually, mentally. Working on some things, and so far so good.
I turned 50 at camp (see post below). I actually thought if I didn't tell anyone, the day would just slip on by. RIGHT. With a daughter on staff, my son with me, and my wife working behind the scenes, EVERYONE at camp knew. They actually were pretty light on me. Got food crammed down my throat as part of a game / song at lunch - with my 3 children doing the cramming! My wife and middle child drove up for the day and surprised me. It turned into the perfect way to spend a birthday. And I am slowly getting used to the idea.

On another note, I know I don't post regularly, and have decided to do something about that. But, I wonder if by my inconsistency no one is reading any more. That's cool, and if so I will let the blog die. But if you are out there, can you post a comment and let me know?

Thanks - hope to hear from ya!

This made me cry

2008-07-03T09:16:00.002-05:00

The tears really have been infrequent these last almost-three years. I wrote on here about the 2nd anniversary of Katrina and that connecting piece with my seminary classmate, Larry Motz, who died Palm Sunday 2006, and the crying jag that caused.
Today while perusing the web, I was reading the blog of the Executive Director of the Beatitudes Society, the Reverend Anne Howard. Read more about this wonderful group at their website. The first of June Anne led a second group of seminarians who are part of the society for another week of hard work at Camp Coast Care. My wife and I, as we did last year, spent an evening with them telling the stories, answering questions. On Anne's blog recently she reflected on their experience and included comments from some of the seminarians. I was so moved by what they had to say, and I really appreciate the "fresh eyes" they used to report their experiences.
Then one of them went and said THIS:

"Another story that struck me was that of Rev. David Knight. As the rector of the local Episcopal Church, David was saddened by the destruction of St. Patrick’s, but he was one of the lucky ones whose home was left relatively unharmed. From the base of security that he and his wife were able to maintain, which included continuing support from the church, they were among the few who were in a position to act as caregivers. Three years after the storm, the wells from which they had been gathering the necessary strength to provide care seemed to be drying up, and it was obvious that he and his wife desperately needed spiritual and personal renewal if they were to continue as caregivers. I was impressed by the care that he and his wife had been providing but saddened by the sight of their clearly ebbing strength."

Is that the impression I give people - ebbing strength? Or is it just the truth? I wept as I read it, so there must have been some truth in it. I FELT what he wrote as I read it. How weird is that?
So the BIG question - how do we recharge, replenish, refuel - for as you can tell from all their reports and many others, there is MUCH more to be done.

HEY EVERYBODY!

2008-07-01T20:48:00.002-05:00

Just got back from a week of summer camp at good ole Camp Bratton-Green. It was a 5th and 6th grade session and I had a blast. My eldest child is part of Permanent Staff this summer and next, working the ropes course. It's a high honor and she was selected with two others out of a pool of 50 something. They also help with all the programming, skits, worship, "Big" games, etc. It's a whirlwind of very hard work and she LOVES it. She has dreamed of this gig her whole life, at least since her 1st time at camp as a 3rd grader. I am a proud pappa.

I will take over this session as Director next year, replacing the legendary Tom Slawson (also a Seabury grad), who has directed this particular session for 18 years! Way to go, Tom - truly a great camp director, moving on to other things and leaving huge shoes to fill.

Camp in our diocese is a HUGE deal and I am honored to be part of it, both as a newbie director and as a member of the Board of Managers for our Camp and Conference center. It's truly the heartbeat of the Diocese of Mississippi.

Hey Everybody is what you shout when you want everyone's attention at camp, and I used it to start my sermon last Sunday - camp stays with me for a while, for sure.

I know I have not written in forever but I plan to become a regular blog poster once again. St. Patrick's is mere weeks from breaking ground on our new building and I will post updates here. I am also very interested in traveling ANYWHERE to do fund raising to finish the gap in financing this building. Almost 3 years since Katrina destroyed all our facilities and we are most ready to be in our new space.

Lastly, for now, I am a MAC user now! I spent 20-something years in mainframe and then PC and Networking, primarily in the banking world. I've been a DOS then Windows user all that time. But for my 50th (YES 50th!!) birthday, which I celebrated at camp by having TONS of food dumped on me at lunch, my family gave me a Best Buy gift card that went a long way to the purchase of my new Macbook Pro! Wow. My old laptop was dying a slow death, and I bit the bullet big time. I am learning as I go, so far I love it.

More to come, if ANYONE is out there still....

5000 for 100 - Can you help?

2008-03-23T17:54:00.002-05:00

I am shocked at how long it has been since I updated this blog. I don't know if anyone is still checking in - but if you are I want to share something with you. And also ask you to pass this on to every online friend you have.
Later, I will have a post about our just completed Holy Week at St. Patrick's.
But first - I started a group on Facebook called "5000 for 100". The description of the group is below:
-------------------------------------
St. Patrick's Episcopal Church in Long Beach, MS was completely destroyed by Hurricane Katrina in August of 2005. At long last the church is just about ready to begin building it's new facility, a few miles in land (on high ground) from the beach property.
Unfortunately, due to incredibly higher construction costs, we do not have enough funds from insurance and donations to construct even our first building - which will be a multi-purpose building with a Parish Hall / Worship room, offices, and classrooms. We estimate to be about $500,000 short.
While we continue to solicit contributions from large groups, and of course from our own congregation, the idea behind this group is a grassroots campaign to find 5000 people / organizations / groups to give $100 each to our building fund.
We hope that churches (of all denominations), church youth groups, men's groups, women's groups, Sunday school classes, individuals will pray about ways they can help and donate to our building fund.
Soon we will add pictures to the group, including what we looked like before and preliminary sketches of our first building.
All contributions to St. Patrick's are tax deductible. We ask that you mail contributions to the church, P.O. Box 550, Long Beach, MS 39560. You can reach us at 228-863-7882 or email officestpats@cableone.net . If you do contribute - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Please indicate "5000 for 100" on your check so we can track this campaign (and know when we have reached 5000 contributors.
IN ADDITION, 10% of all contributions to this campaign will be given to local charities on the Gulf Coast that are helping our communities rebuild and providing services to people in need.
Lastly, will you pray for us? And pass this group info on to ALL of your friends.
God bless
David Knight
Rector, St. Patrick's Episcopal Church
-----------------------------------

I am convinced there are 5000 people or entities across this country that can give $100 to this cause. And of course, we are not just looking at people who are on Facebook to help. We already have begun receiving donations, and people are getting excited about it. One of our partner parishes, St. Mary's in Arlington, VA, has decided to donate $100 for every member of their church who has been to our relief center to help out - and they have sent 80 people down here! So that's $8000 right there to our campaign. I am so excited about this, and I am convinced we will be able to start building soon.
We will have a special page on our website soon dedicated to this campaign. Meanwhile, click HERE to link to our web home where you can find pictures before and after Katrina and other information about us.
And PLEASE - PASS THIS ON!
God bless you all and Happy Easter - The Lord is Risen Indeed!

Another New Year

2008-01-02T10:40:00.001-06:00

Back at work today, but heading to a CREDO sponsored retreat for Mississippi Gulf Coast clergy tomorrow through Saturday noon. It's a nice gift from the CREDO folks, with sessions to help us deal with the post-Katrina world we operate in. Our spouses will be with us too, so should be a great time and productive time.
Christmas was nice and hectic and fun and stressful - all the usual. I was very excited that we had 180 people at Christmas Eve service, that's a 50% increase over last year. I think it's a good sign that we are bouncing back strong.
It is my deepest hope and prayer that we begin the building project very soon. I hoped we would have a contractor on board before Christmas, but that has been delayed. Pray we can get moving, and that the bids are reasonable. I fear I will be back on the road fund raising soon, and I'd rather not have to do that.
My family is well, Mackenzie is pretty much fully recovered - thanks be to God. I hope you all have a great 2008!

Folks have been prayin'.....I'm just sayin'

2007-11-16T10:36:00.000-06:00

We finally got some good-thanks-be-to-God-news about Mackenzie. We were back at UMC in Jackson for more tests, including a hi-res CT and a pretty involved PFT. Here's my wife's email about the results:

"Well today was a full day to say the least. We headed to Jackson
early, started with the CT, then on to do the PFT and lab work, lunch
in there somewhere then the MD appointment. This was with the
pulmonologist, Dr. Haynes. By the time we got to him he had the PFT
results and had looked at the CT. His impression of the CT was that is
certainly wasn't worse and maybe a smidgen better. Wants to wait on
official read before committing. The PFT was a tad bit better as well
so we will take that too. We are way happy with baby steps at this
point. He is going to call with official CT results but in the
meantime has discharged her from his service for a YEAR!!!!! Whew! One
down. Now the lab work was mostly the repeat of all the labs that were
out of whack before. They will go to Dr. DeShazo, the
rheumetologist/allergist specialist. When he gets those he will call
and I am sure depending on those results have a plan. We talked a long
time about this crazy illness and we all think it's some kind of
allergy related pneumonia. He did say that she would have to be
careful with URI in the future as they would hit her harder and
quicker then most. All we have to do is call him and he will take care
of her sooner then most MD's would. This is good news and we are
certainly celebrating on our ride home tonight (we are on the road as
I type). I will send you more information as it trickles in but for
now, she is on the road to recovery. Oh and on a funny side note. When
we came out of the MD's office today, Mackenzie's first words were "so
do I get a prize?"!!!!! Our sweet Mackenzie...... Lol . Luv to you all
and we are off to the beach tomorrow with celebration on our minds,
praise God. Jen"

We are very happy with this news and feel we have turned a corner on this bizarre illness. Thank you ALL for your prayers and support.
Happy Thanksgiving! I know, like us, you all have much to give thanks for. God bless....

Vocare

2007-11-13T14:14:00.000-06:00

Vocare rocks!
In case you don't know, Vocare is a spiritual retreat weekend for young adults. It's modeled somewhat after the Cursillo / Happening model, but quite different in some ways. The talks center around calling - what is a Christian, how do you respond to Christ, lay ministry, ordination, single, married, etc. The staff is usually all young adults.
I was privileged to be one of the spiritual directors for Vocare 38 in our diocese last weekend. This was also the last Vocare for the Reverend Tim Jones of Corinth, MS, who is returning to his native England TODAY, as Vicar of a church in the Diocese of York. Tim is amazing, and we will greatly miss his wit, his energy, his intelligence, and especially his great desire to work with young adults. Godspeed, Tim.
I really like working with this age group and look forward to more opportunities to do so. They are amazing and give me great hope for our church and the world. I am looking for how to continue to support other young adults in my area with a Cornerstone group or the like. If you want in - let me know!

A Nearly Perfect Day

2007-10-22T16:34:00.000-05:00

In southern Mississippi, we don't get a lot of pleasant days. But this last Saturday was one. Clear blue skies, humidity lower than usual, temps around 80.
We setup a canopy with some tables and chairs and a porta-let on our new property. A good ole fashioned picnic, with lots of great food.
We ate well and then our Bishop joined us for a blessing of our property. We swung some "holy smoke", sprinkled some holy water, sang some songs as we walked along the property. We stopped in the center, and said some prayers of thanksgiving, of blessings, and of challenge - to BE the church, to live into our mission calling, to celebrate and serve in this spot that God has led us to.
The atmosphere was wonderful in every way - our people were relaxed and happy and positively glowing as they thought about our new home.
And best of all was the kids - we have a LOT of kids. It was so moving to see them running, frolicking, laughing, playing on our new land. They went for rides in an Argo around the grounds, played tag, ran and giggled and just had a blast. Their laughter was music to our ears.
Thank you Lord, for this day and this opportunity to continue to learn how to be your church.

We're back...

2007-10-05T00:38:00.000-05:00

Back home for now. Pretty exhausted. My daughter is recovering from the surgery. It was a long couple of days but she is tough and has had to learn a lot about living with pain.
We don't have any pathology reports yet. Maybe Friday, if not Monday. We go back to Jackson on Monday either way, to get her stitches out and pick up her car so she can return to school.
Thanks for your prayers.

The Latest

2007-09-28T19:18:00.001-05:00

I have a WHOLE LOT to report on some happenings at St Patrick's, all good stuff. But for now I am focused on my daughter's health and I covet your prayers.
The results of her bronco scope biopsy were mixed. They have eliminated cancer from the equation, thanks be to God. But the rest was inconclusive.
So this coming Tuesday she will undergo surgery for an open lung biopsy. This should allow the proper amount of tissue to be gathered so we can get it analyzed and get closer to figuring this mess out. She continues to be strong, but is in much pain and discomfort.
Thanks for your support and prayers.

Health saga continues

2007-09-18T19:44:00.000-05:00

I reported on here a while back about my daughter's strange health issues this summer. They are not resolved. It's a long, long story, but we have now had her admitted to the University Medical Center in Jackson, mainly for some advanced testing and to get the various specialists in the same room (like that is REALLY going to happen), or at least in the same vicinity, so we can figure this out.
So far no diagnosis, other than everyone agrees "something is wrong" and "we need to figure it out". Leading candidates are pulmonary or rheumatilogical problems (I know I made at least one of those words up). I was there yesterday until late, it's a 3 hour drive one way, came home by 1 this morning so could get my son to school and various activities today. My wife is staying in the hospital with Mackenzie, and I will return on Wednesday.
Please keep her in your prayers.

Preachin' - A Time to Cry

2007-09-18T19:41:00.000-05:00

As followup to the post below on the Katrina anniversary, you can hear my sermon from that night by clicking HERE.
I have a lot of friends who post sermons on their blogs, but I prefer to link folks to the audio versions, as I rarely follow a text you could post anyway. Check em out if you are so inclined.....

A Time to Cry

2007-08-29T16:33:00.001-05:00

It happened about 11:00 this morning. Today, of ALL days, I was at a hospital having some tests run. Everything's fine, and I am glad it's over. Today, of ALL days - a STRESS test! Somewhere God is laughing....
It's the two year anniversary of Katrina's landfall. I've tried my best to ignore it, to de-emphasize it. The people of my parish begged us not to do anything special. Instead we will have our regular Wednesday night service of healing and Holy Eucharist, and I will add some special prayers and music to mark the occasion.
I thought I was ok with this day.....of ALL days.
It's not the memories. I won't ever forget what it was like riding that storm out. The howling of the unceasing wind, the fear of what was being done to our community, our homes, our church. I was in a house about 5 miles inland, and it was not pleasant. The days afterward are just a blur, a blur of images of devastation, collapse, ruin, people-in-shock, rumors, worries, unreal heat, lack of sleep, and complete puzzlement over what exactly to do, other than wake up from the little sleep you could manage and get somewhere and help someone. Day after day.
A first year of watching massive debris piles finally picked up, of people, one by one, coming by to say goodbye, of struggles with a church decimated by this storm, of worries about my own family, my son especially, and what this is doing to them.
A second year of increasing frustration with the slow-ness of EVERYTHING. The way people feel absolutely raped by their insurance carriers, the same ones that reported RECORD profits. The steady and good and solid and amazing work going on, bit by bit, brick by brick, with the incredible army of volunteers who come and labor and pray and hopefully go home better for having been here, hopefully go home and tell our story so others will come.
I didn't need to watch CNN or any other program to remember. I didn't even want to.
Yesterday I received in the mail a package from a seminary classmate. In it was an autographed copy of our graduating class, signed by all the members. You see, when we graduated we each signed the mattes for each other's pictures, and my copy was framed and hanging in my office when the storm surge came, when the waters burst my church into a million little pieces, and all my books, my ordination certificates, my diploma....and my class picture, washed away, out to sea or buried in rubble never to be found, floating along with our pews and our altar. My loss was minuscule compared to most others, but a few things were gone that I could not recreate.
On Palm Sunday of 2006 our class president, Larry Motz, died from cancer. A few days before his death a classmate, Nicolette Papanek, visited with our dear friend. Larry asked her to get his picture, his signed graduation picture and take it with her. He asked her to frame it and mail it to ME, for he knew mine was long gone. We'd talked about it just a week before, in my last conversation with Larry, that my picture was gone. He didn't say anything to me about his picture, but he made Nicolette promise to send it to me.
So it came. Yesterday. I opened it and was overcome....overcome....
Today when I got into my car at the hospital, thinking about what words to say tonight at our anniversary service, I thought of Larry and that amazing gift. I thought of my classmates, many who have been down here to help. I thought also of the scores, SCORES, of volunteers who have come to our aid, who have changed us and who have themselves been changed, I thought of all the people I have gotten to meet, to work with and laugh with and eat with and pray with, people I would have never known otherwise. I thought of that great image of St. Paul, the body of Christ, all connected, all vital, all needed, ALL needed.
And then it came. Sitting in my truck the tears came, they fell hard and fast and surprising. I really haven't had the "good cry" yet, two years later it happened and I was totally unprepared, on this anniversary I was trying to ignore.
For those who read this blog and journey with us, we are connected, my brothers and sisters. Thank you for your willingness to make that so apparent to me, to all of us.
We will get through today, and wake up tomorrow and wonder how long this will go on, how long Oh Lord, how long. And then someone else shows up, to help, to pray, to smile, to laugh, to cry with us.
God bless you all.

WE OWN LAND!

2007-08-20T16:35:00.000-05:00

We finally closed on the property last Tuesday! ALLELUIA! Thanks for all your prayers, keep em coming. Go here to our web site for pictures of the property, and other updates.
Even though Hurricane Dean is far, far away, the mere presence of a major storm on our end of the ocean has raised some anxiety levels amongst folks here.
Meanwhile our volunteer pool at Camp Coast Care (and all the work camps on the coast) is almost non-existant. We understand people not wanting to come down in the August heat, but if you have a church group (or any group) looking for some great mission work, we really, really need your help, and will for years to come. CCC is operating at a high level as to the number of families we are getting back in their homes, but we just cannot do it without volunteers. Click here to sign up or to find out more about CCC. THANKS

Vacation....schmacation

2007-08-07T12:13:00.000-05:00

The good news - I have had two Sundays off in a row. The bad news - the rest of the "vacation" has not been very ...um...vacation-y.
It's just one of those things. Due to recent medical issues in the family and my wife's work schedule having to be adjusted accordingly, and the RIDICULOUSLY early start to the school year for my son - who is attending a new school where he knows absolutely NO ONE, since Katrina ramifications caused his old school to drop its middle school completely -the time off for me has required me to stay in town. This is NOT a good idea.
I am supposed to be off all this week as well, but I am pretty convinced I will return to work tomorrow (Wednesday). There's no sense wasting the precious off days if they are not doing for me what I need them to. Sigh.
On another note, my best friend on the Coast is leaving. It's great news for him and his family, I am so excited for them. But it sucks for me, personally! It's a fantastic opportunity for him, so I will just have to GET OVER IT. But I plan on throwing a pity party in the near future, anyway.

Better....

2007-07-26T22:26:00.000-05:00

My daughter is feeling MUCH better. Not quite back to normal, but getting there. Thanks for those who have prayed. We are awaiting one repeat lab to get any final ideas on what's going on, but truth is we may never know for sure.

Would appreciate prayers....

2007-07-17T13:12:00.000-05:00

It's been another adventurous week in my household. Monday of last week, my middle child suffered shortness of breath (she's 20!) while driving, alone, home from a weekend at her college (she is living at home this summer and working). She pulled over and began hyperventilating. She finally reached me on the phone, and I got her mom on the phone (a nurse, ya know), and we were able to get the sheriff's office in that remote area to begin looking for her. Two ambulances were dispatched, my daughter passed out while talking to the dispatcher, but they finally found her. She was taken to a hospital about 30 minutes from where she was. The LW and I of course had already left, headed in that direction. I turned a 3 hour drive into about 2 hrs and 15 minutes, and had a friend meet the ambulance so she wouldn't be all alone.
The ER ran some tests and eventually discharged her with no diagnosis. On Tuesday, it happened again, but I was home with her and got her breathing managed before it got too bad. Wednesday she went for a battery of tests, and Thursday her shallow breathing got MUCH worse. She could hardly talk or eat or walk. She was admitted to the local hospital Thursday night.
After running a multitude of tests, involving both cardiac and pulmonary stuff, as well as testing her for every known virus and infection, she didn't fare real well over the weekend. She began having sharp chest pains and her breathing did not improve.
She did finally turn a corner Sunday, and was discharged to bed rest last night. Her breathing is improved but chest pain continues. They have mostly eliminated any "bad" cardiac reasons for this, but don't really know still what is causing the shortness of breath. One lab test was not good and will be repeated soon, for auto-immune related stuff. So we are very concerned and she is struggling with the pain.
Please pray for Mackenzie and all our family, when you have a chance.

Misery....

2007-07-03T16:24:00.000-05:00

A couple of posts ago I talked about the sweltering heat we are experiencing (I know, it's nothing new). But it is worse now for the Knight family - our home A/C died yesterday!
It was 85 degrees INSIDE when I got home from work yesterday. I kick started the compressor a couple of times but it wouldn't stay on. We slept with windows open - it was miserable. Our temp yesterday was 92 but the humdity was 96%! Heat index over 100.
The other problem with sleeping in the heat was the memories it triggered. For my LW especially, it was a vivid reminder of all those days post Katrina with no electricity, no cool air, no fans, etc. She was STRESSED to the max. Sleep was difficult. When you are so acclimated to the A/C, missing it is hard. I know I am whining, but ...... YUK.
On top of that my daughter's car died on her way home from work, making a horrible noise. It's a 99 Civic with over 100K miles. I expected the worst. Had it towed to the local repair shop, but got good news, a pulley had broken that supported the fan belt, fairly minor repair. WHEW.
My LW and middle child have headed to the Gulf Shores area where family is gathering for the 4th. I am staying here tonight, praying the repair dude shows up and it's not a major effort to fix it. With the holiday tomorrow, this is going to be expensive no matter what!
On top of all that, my smoke alarms started giving off false alarms all day today, finally found the "offender" and yanked that baby out of the ceiling. I think it was dust from the windows being open and the fans blowing, so will put it back once the AC is running.
Pray I don't have to sleep on the floor of my office trailer, which, by the way, was ROCKING during today's thunderstorm. Isn't life an adventure???

Live and ......learn

2007-06-28T17:08:00.001-05:00

For the multitude of fans of this site, you will notice the blog posted last week has been removed. Here's why:
In that post I was critical of comments posted on a certain website regarding the upcoming House of Bishops meeting in New Orleans. My post was an emotional response to the tone of SOME of the comments that were quite critical and even mean-spirited to the HoB. The emotional response was directly related to my current situation - Rector of a church recovering from Katrina. I am thrilled the Bishops will spend some of their time together helping relief crews and attending worship services on the coast of Mississippi and in New Orleans. This is a good thing - we need them to see and hear what life is like for us, and take that message home with them so volunteers keep coming.
However.....in writing those thoughts I fell into a trap that I am often very critical of in others. I called the commenters "mean people", and said the "mean people" live at that particular web site. Naturally, those folks took offense - and they should have.
You see, one of the biggest problems in this whole Anglican mess is the way people, on all sides of each "issue", tend to glom people together. We stereotype, we make assumptions about theology and beliefs, we lump people into convenient groups, and we do all this WITHOUT taking the effort to get to KNOW people. I hate that, I hate it when people, and they did this in DROVES on "that site" after my blog post was reported on there, make assumptions about me, my beliefs, my theology, when they really have no clue about me.
And yet, I did the exact same thing. I labeled posters / commenters of "that site" into one convenient category of "mean people". That was wrong, very wrong.
Damage was done. I am sorry for that. In blasting my post, the owner of "that site" made some assumptions of his own that are also unfounded. He has since apologized for his tone as well, but the assumptions he made drove much of the comments on my post. Somehow people took my words to mean I was not understanding, not recognizing, not being grateful for, Katrina relief efforts done by people of all sides of the issues in our church. Nothing could be further from the truth, and I didn't ever say that, although I can sorta see how you could get that impression from my post. That's the main reason I took it down - not just because I spoke wrongly, which I did in my own stereotyping, but also that anyone could misunderstand my point in that way would be terrible.
People have responded on the coast by the tens of thousands, pouring untold hours and millions of dollars into our recovery. I am eternally thankful for each and every one who has done so. As I said in my post, when you are doing this work you don't first ask folks where they stand on any issues, and in that light this recovery effort has been one example of how our divided church can be united.
I am still glad the HoB will be joining us in that effort. And I have learned a valuable lesson. I hope those offended will accept my apology.
OH AND ONE MORE THING - one commenter on "that site" kept abusing me for the "pea green soup" background of my blog. LOL! He was right - it was awful. Hence, the new blue blog!

Geez it's HOT

2007-06-13T15:32:00.001-05:00

105 heat index in early June is NOT a good sign for things to come. Please pray the tropics behave like they did last year! PLEASE
We are moving along with our property closing, site master plan, and decisions about our first building. We should close within 30 days! WOOHOO! We will throw a PARTY! You are all invited.
Our site master plan looks good - click here for our church website and you can see some pics and info. We are holding discussion groups for the various components of the multi-purpose building - kitchen, nursery, worship, education, etc. Preliminary estimates have us about one million short to build it. I will be hitting the road for some more fund raising - so if you are in a church that wants to help and can help, let me know, I'd love to visit and share our story.
It looks like we will make Camp Coast Care our home until we are in the new building (probably late 2008). The new building there is much better, air conditioned baby! We are also taking over a classroom trailer that the school no longer needs, and will move our office trailer next to it this summer. So all our St Pats stuff will be in one area - that will be nice. The classroom trailer will serve as a Sunday morning nursery, meeting area, chapel space, etc. It will be real nice to have one thing to call ours! I hate spending money moving the office trailer, but it really needs to be done, plus we need the bathroom in it for the nursery (the trailers will be adjacent).
Church tonight, then speaking to the group from the Beatitudes Society that is spending a week on the Coast. Check them out - it's an amazing group.

Taking Care

2007-05-22T13:41:00.000-05:00

May has been another month with much travel in it. I spent the 1st 7 days at CREDO - which, for you clergy folks checking in, if you get an invite - GO.
CREDO is sponsored by the Church Pension Fund, with a focus on clergy wellness in 4 areas - health, spirituality, vocation, and finances. I found the time to be very well spent and found help in all 4 areas. You end up with a "CREDO plan", with 3 objectives and perhaps a BHAG too. I have already made some positive changes in all 4 of the above areas and anticipate continuing to do so.
Last week I spent 3 days in Detroit at a Gathering of Leaders, a very exciting time. Retired Bishop Claude Payne of Texas had the vision for this group, and along with my Bishop, Duncan Gray, and others, put together these semi-annual meetings of folks who are fired up about mission. All attendees need to have at least 15 years of ministry left before retirement. It was a thrill to be with a group of Priests who are focused on the mission of the Gospel, and not over anxious or overly redirected to dealing with the "issues" of the day. Make the main thing the main thing, folks. The networking part is the real vital part of GoL, and I look forward to continuing in this group.
I spent one day back home, then drove to Atlanta for a family thing, back the next day for church. Our architects presented the final master site plan to us on Sunday, and it looks awesome. I need to find another million bucks somewhere, so pray for us, if you don't mind. We hope to close on the property soon!
Next week - another trip, but a fun one as I will accompany my wife for HER job to NYC. We have built in several fun days, a mini vacation for the two of us. Can't wait!

FEMA Strikes Again

2007-04-24T08:25:00.000-05:00

As I travel this country, trying to raise both money for our rebuilding, and awareness of the continued struggle we endure, I am often asked about the government's response to Katrina. I try to stay out of that debate, focusing instead on the amazing work the church in America, and even globally, has done to respond.
However, the editorial below in our local paper, the Sun Herald, speaks to an incredibly poor decision by FEMA. It is my understanding that there are sufficient funds to continue Project Recovery, which has provided much, much needed mental health services since the storm. As I reported in my last post, PTSS is an ongoing and increasing problem. Pulling Project Recovery now is a severe blow to an area in desperate need for INCREASED mental health assistance.
The editorial is below, from the Sun Herald...

Editorial

Posted on Tue, Apr. 24, 2007

reprint or license print email

Digg it del.icio.us AIM

Project Recovery deserves a reprieve

We wholeheartedly endorse the sentiments of Dr. Robert Titzler, medical director of Bethel Free Medical Clinic in Biloxi, as expressed in a letter published on Friday:

"April 27 will be a sad and disappointing day for hundreds of residents of South Mississippi. On that day FEMA will defund Project Recovery, and this valuable and effective program will be forced to shut down. Project Recovery has been helping people find ways to cope with the stress caused by Katrina. It has done so in an effective and efficient manner by providing free crisis counseling services... at sites other than the mental health clinics.

"For the past year, I have been working at the free medical clinic located in the Bethel Lutheran Church ... . Over 80 percent of the persons who seek help here are suffering the effects of profound personal losses, sleeplessness, homelessness, anxiety about what the future holds for them, and domestic strife. While these are common issues in all communities and families, they are not usually complicated and exacerbated by the worst natural disaster in American history and in the face of a serious deficiency of readily available help in coping. Our coastal communities are, in my view, facing an epidemic of post-traumatic stress syndrome, the dimensions of which are only now, 19 months after Katrina's visit, beginning to be appreciated. In no way is this aspect of the 'crisis' over. The federal government, through FEMA, appears to have decided that it is over, and that Project Recovery is no longer necessary or effective. I want to bear witness and testimony to the contrary."

Project Recovery should be granted a reprieve.

PTSS

2007-04-19T16:04:00.000-05:00

Here on the Coast PTSS is a real, live, ongoing issue. It impacts young and old, rich and poor, slabbed or not. Last summer when Tropical Storm Ernesto popped up many many many miles away, folks around here got very anxious. Being spared any hurricanes last year was life saving in more than one way, and I mean that with all seriousness.
This Wednesday night at our healing service in the "new" quarters at Camp Coast Care, we talked about the Virginia Tech tragedy, and looking for God in these difficult events. I tried to show the BIG difference between and act of nature (Katrina) and an act of evil (Cho). Surely this man was ill and very dark, and I did not feel it my place to judge him or the system or gun control or whatever the secular world needs to discuss around this horrible event. Instead I looked at a group of people who were, literally, scared and confused and very, very anxious.
Their world has been upside down for 20 months now. This news just confirms it for them.
We talked about Jesus emptying himself, becoming a slave, going forward to death, even death on a cross for us. That God knows suffering and it is in that place we can find our own Lord.
Mostly, though, just talking about our fears and anxieties seemed somewhat cathartic for some. As I've said before, the mental health issues down here are enormous, please keep the prayers coming.

On the Road Again

2007-03-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

I write this from a hotel room in Jacksonville, FL. Came here yesterday to do a talk at a Lenten gathering at a fabulous church here. This Diocese is raising 250K to be matched from a fund with another 250K, all for the rebuilding of our church! I have been now on 4 trips here and preached or talked at 5 or 6 churches. I have really enjoyed their support and prayers and of course this wonderful gift they are raising for us.
I leave tomorrow for Arlington, Virginia to visit two more adopting churches, preaching on Sunday morning, etc. These are two great supporters as well.
The truth is I have been on the road an AWFUL lot since Katrina. Raising money and awareness of our ongoing situation has been very important. But it is so tiresome. I am tired of being gone, sick of airports and air travel, miss my family and have too much work to do back home. But it is necessary. There is no way to ask our folks for any kind of capital campaign to build our church. Insurance from the destroyed property will not even pay half of the 1st building to be constructed (our plan is to build a multi-purpose building that will be worship and fellowship space for us, along with education and nursery) until we can figure out how to build the church proper. We need a lot more money to get this done. Construction costs on the Coast have risen around 80% post storm.
So I hit the road, often. This is it until Easter, then a couple of more trips planned before mid-summer. Everywhere I go I am received so warmly and people are shocked to learn how much more must be done, many assume we are "all back to normal" at the 18 month mark. No, not even close. And the mental health issues, for adults and children, are actually increasing.
Please keep praying for us and please don't forget us.

Looking Up!

2007-03-08T21:54:00.000-06:00

Prayer answered on SO many fronts. Thanks be to God!
We have tentative approval of our property purchase and an agreement on price with the property owner! We DID IT! Although the final contract is still in the lawyer's hands, we are there, just need signatures!
I am blown away! This is GOOD NEWS!
Our location is prime for Long Beach.
Last Saturday we had a full day meeting with the architects, and they are now working on the master plan for the site!
We have to raise a bunch more money, but we are on the way!
AND
We have returned to Sunday morning worship. Saturday nights have died off, and we are now doing 2 services on Sunday mornings. Our attendance the last two weeks has been the best since Katrina. Thanks be to God! Again, prayers answered.
Next week is the Bishop's annual visit, and we are again borrowing the Methodist church. We have been wandering all over town, but at least we now know where we are going.
Thanks for all your prayers!!!!!

WOW....where have I been??

2007-02-09T21:56:00.000-06:00

Does anything on this confounded Coast happen in a timely manner any more?
I haven't posted in ages cuz I just knew that ANY DAY NOW I would be able to either celebrate the miracle I asked y'all to pray for, or talk about plan B.
And we are not there yet.....
However.....
We are REAL CLOSE and it is GOING TO HAPPEN!
WOOOOHOOOOO
Very, very soon I will publish where we are going, and I hope and pray that with that decision behind us we will gain some much needed momentum as we begin planning our buildings.

Meanwhile I continue to spend too much time on the road, still looking for help to build those buildings. Two more trips lined up the next 7 weeks. It is great to share our story and to meet some really wonderful people, wonderful and helpful and hopeful and generous people. It's just that the road gets old, folks, it just does. There is so much to do here, that I regret any time away, but it's what we gotta do for now.

Today was an interesting day. After a 2 am phone call, I had to rearrange the entire weekend. We WERE going to return to the gym this Sunday for services (YAY) preceded by Christian Ed (double YAY). But had to punt on that for a couple of weeks. Spent the day today trying to let everyone in the church know, hope we reached all that were coming. Then learned that the Lutheran church we use on Saturday nights has a funeral at 7 on Sat (we start at 6), so have to make some adjustments to get out by 645.
Can you tell I covet my own space? But all in all, we are blessed to have a place to use and everyone has been great.

Stay tuned. I promise to post more often...and hopefully very soon it will be AMAZING news!

Why Not Here.....

2006-12-23T12:09:00.000-06:00

As I waste time this morning on here, instead of finishing sermons for Advent 4 (tonight) and Christmas Eve (tomorrow) and Christmas Day (Monday - but it will definitely be a wing-it-as-you-go sermon), I am struck, once again, by the faith of Mary and of how she was "already blessed" by her belief, before Jesus even made the grand entrance in a stable.
Which brings me to prayer request, part two!
Thanks for all of you who have been praying for St. Patrick's and our continued recovery. Those prayers have been answered in an amazing way! I cannot really yet give out too many details, but this week our vestry accepted the recommendation of our site committee to pursue one particular piece of property that we all feel is a FANTASTIC location for the new St. Pats. It is in the heart of town, near schools, residential neighborhoods, highly visible, high traffice, pretty land, land that is above Katrina flood levels, the list goes on. The process of arriving at this decision was hard yet wonderful, prayerful, and faith filled. I cannot applaud loudly enough the work of our site committee, our planning committee, our consultant, and our vestry. I am PUMPED UP about this decision.
Which brings me to your prayers.....please don't stop.
The only hurdle yet to cross to obtain this property is the price. We have begun negotiations, and the starting point of the land owner is too high. Our task is to convince him how we will care for this land, how we will offer so much to the community from there, how we had previously given over to the city a large part of our property for a city park, how we are committted to that same kind of presence at our new location. It is our hope and prayer that appealing to his sense of civic duty and our intentions will help us in the negotiations.
Can we claim this in God's name? Can we dare to rejoice in God's providence, even before it happens? Sounds kinda like Mary to me. Will you join me and our people in praying for this kind of miracle for our church?
Why not here? Why not claim God's blessing on the process we have followed and the prayers we have said? Why not look for the unexpected and use it to give God glory?
Will you join me?

Prayer Request

2006-11-22T11:26:00.000-06:00

Hello, my legions of blogger fans!
I know it's been a while since I have posted. Things are really hopping here and I have been up to my neck. A lot of it is good, though, and we are making great progress.
Our rebuilding committees have been working fast and furious. We have hired an architect (YEA), and our mission and ministry committee has completed surveying over half of our congregation and they have developed a draft mission statement. This will be presented to the Parish at a dinner on Sunday night, Dec. 3rd. I think it is EXCELLENT and really reflects what we learned from the surveys about who we are and who we want to serve. The process of formulating the statement was really cool. I am excited about it. Once approved, I will share it on here, I know you all are anxious to read it!
Our site selection committee is reaching the finish line. Some of you know we thought we had a property location last March, and after having to wait a couple of months, the owner then decided not to sell (no fault there, the owner's circumstances changed dramatically). This put us back at square one, but it is really ok as all the above work needed to happen before we even thought about designing a building. This committee has narrowed lcoations down to 3 or 4, and the architects have walked each of these properties and gave us some feedback about them.
This brings me to the prayer request. I believe the location decision for the new St. Patrick's to be the most important and most difficult thing we have to do. Where we will be will impact this church for generations. Where we will be is more important, in my view, than what the building looks like. So this decision is HUGE. Next Tuesday this committee and our overall planning committee will meet with our consultant. Each property will be evaluated against criteria we have established. The criteria will be weighted as to importance and then tallied up for each location. From this meeting I hope the site committee will be able to present their recommendation to the vestry within one week.
The vestry is tasked with the final decision (with Diocesan approval of course). So these meetings from now until Dec 7 or so will be so very important. I would appreciate your prayers for all the committee members, for our consultant, for me as the Rector trying to lead this process in a Godly way, and to our Vestry as they struggle with such a monumental decision. I think we are going about things the right way, I am impatient but I understand it's not my time frame we are working under. I am very excited that we are reaching this point.
Putting up a sign on property in the next few weeks promoting "Future Site of St. Patrick's" will be an incredible morale boost to our folks.
I appreciate your prayers. I will keep you posted. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Sad news keeps coming.....

2006-10-23T15:00:00.000-05:00

It's been that kind of year. It's hard enough trying to live day-to-day in the aftermath of Katrina, church gone, half our membership gone, etc. But personal tragedies seem to be following us these last few months.
First, losing my seminary classmate and friend, Larry, on Palm Sunday. Then in May my dear Aunt Sharlie died with my wife and I at her side. And the last 5 weeks I have been part of 4 funerals, two for parishioners. 10 days ago I buried a member I had come to know through my wife serving as her hospice nurse. She ended up joining my church and we all became close as she battled her terminal illness. She lost what little she owned in Katrina and spent her last year in a nursing home far away from her beloved Gulf Coast.
Then, yesterday we said goodbye to Tommy, our head usher and all around good guy. Challenged somewhat physically and mentally, Tommy was an inspiration to us all (if you get a chance click on that link and read the article).
Then today, more terrible news. Our beloved friend, Ann Jones-Tutor, of Southaven passed away. Ann was a native of England and a long, long time participant on our annual Honduras Medical Mission. She was my prayer partner on two of those trips and accompanied my wife on all of her trips there (close to 10). She was a nurse and a joy to be with. She died from complications following knee surgery, of all things!
It's been a tough run of late, folks. Keep us in your prayers.

Saturday Night LIVE!!

2006-09-19T10:48:00.000-05:00

We have made the switch to Saturday night services! The gym where we've been meeting for most of the past year has become, let's say, very difficult for us to remain there. It is HOT HOT HOT for one thing. And the dust and airborne stuff in there has gotten very bad. I have several parishioners who have gotten ill from being in church, and they along with a handful of others just cannot be present there anymore.
I began discussing with some of the churches in town about using their facilities. No one had a time slot that would work for us on Sunday mornings. We decided to try Saturday nights - and the local Lutheran church has very graciously offered their building to us. For now, we won't have a Sunday morning service at all - and that's very weird to me. It doesn't feel right, but we will try this on for a while and see how it goes.
Two Saturdays ago we launched this service, and it was a BIG HIT! We had 90 folks there. Our average Sunday attendance (ASA) pre-Katrina was 140 (up from 125 when I arrived here). So for 90 to be there on a Saturday night, considering how many of our folks have moved away, was really a great turn out.
It remains to be seen if this will hold up. Will people really stop what they are doing on Saturdays and get ready for church? Will moving off of Sunday mornings mean some people may switch to other churches? Time will tell. I am hoping to add a Sunday morning service as soon as a facility becomes available, or perhaps a VERY early one at the Lutheran church (but keeping the Sat evening one). We could meet there around 7:15 and be out of their way for their own services.
But for now, I like the idea of us being one body together. It's been that way since the storm and I think it's been good for us. Once we are comfortable in the space and have the kinks out, and once I am convinced our numbers will support this move, we will then decide on the Sunday morning options.
It does kill me to miss college football games for CHURCH! Oh, the sacrifices we must make.....

These are good words....

2006-09-07T09:06:00.000-05:00

The following was written by Bruce Colville. Bruce sold his home in NYC to come and live at our disaster relief center and aid in the recovery efforts. He is a good friend, and as you can see from this, a great writer. He describes far better than I could the gathering in our outdoor chapel on Aug 27th to remember the anniversary of "the storm". The original had pictures from the service and from around the destroyed area. If you wish to hear the sermon he references, click here .

Only the oaks remain.

Upright and dark their vertical survival is all that prevented a complete washing clean:

Banda Aceh or Phuket.

I am not kidding.

The first things you see are the oaks. From wide immovable trunks, thick encompassing arms reach broadly over the swept lots, slabs and pieces of foundation that is Beach Boulevard in Long Beach. Since last fall you see that leaves (non-deciduous) have filled the smaller branches, even faint traces of the once ubiquitous Spanish Moss have begun to appear.

You are about a dozen feet above sea level on the former site of this small Episcopal Church. It is Sunday morning, August 27^th, the first mass to be celebrated here since the last one was benediction-ed, with some haste in the face of evacuation, one year ago.

You sit under a small tent where once the outdoor chapel stood. You look about. Actually, you notice green everywhere, tangled and waist-high, covering completely the footprint of a sanctuary, farther over an office and the Sunday school. Overgrowth might be the technical term. Weeds, scrub, high grasses and delinquent shrubs are what they are, really. You are saddened, as if ruination were not enough, but this: vanquished by weeds seems the final insult.

You should’ve known, seen the irony. This is grim evidence of new life. The Celtic Christians would tell you (you later are told) that all growth is evidence of life renewed and this is, after all, St. Patrick’s Church.

Another beloved disciple lived his final years on the island Patmos surrounded by an unruly and maddening sea. From that ravaged beach he was caught up in the revelation of a new heaven and earth. And the one who was seated on the throne said to him, to us, for all time: “See!”

“See?” See what? How do you see when all around nothing is left? You ask that question this very morning. You have asked it in your own life as well. Again the words come from his aged half-crazed lips. “…the one who is seated on the throne said: ‘See, I am making all things new.’ ”

* * * * * * * * *

The first thing you hear is the quiet. You hear that a lot in our communities. You hear the hollow stillness of what is no more and the aimless rustling of that which will never be the same again. Then there is some hammering too, the din of repair and restoration, even on a Sunday morning: perhaps especially so.

You hear the high whistle of Slane, the Irish ballad and the opening phrase Be Thou My Vision. It is the music of what is surely to come.

* * * * * * * * *

Words are read, another ancient prophet, again with the oaks (the planting of the Lord) and something about the rebuilding of ruins. When you read together the psalm appointed your mind starts to wander. You look around. Behind you, the annoying child, up there the big oak is blocking the sun nicely; with the soft breeze it is enough to keep the heat away. You wish it were the same for the gnats.

Stand for the gospel. Then sit. He still stands… the one up front at the altar wearing the cassock and stole. Have you ever heard a pin drop on sand?

“What can I say?”

It’s not much of a sermon starter. You hear this year-worn priest’s voice aching all around the thin edges like dark filmy ice stretched across a pool of freezing water you dare not plunge into.

Then he says it again entirely unsure of where to place the italics:

“What can I say?”

In one of those unique moments in the long storied tradition of Christian homiletics, he doesn’t. He doesn’t go on and try to say something. He just lets it be.

This was proclaimed a service of remembrance and hope. Nevertheless it is grief and loss, anguish, dust and ashes. Most came. Some simply would not. It is a mass. It is formal ceremony. It is like a funeral and a part of the process is just getting through the steps you have to take. This is the way the human heart works.

There’s not a lot of eye contact, you notice…you can notice; you remain an outsider after all. It is more the sitting very still variety, more looking straight ahead. It is an hour at the end of a year of hours of just trying to hold it together…. Well, what is there to look at anyway?

Then something changes. Reality, the helplessness of past and present, is incontrovertibly altered. God intervenes. The Greco-Romans called it deus ex machina — the appearance of a god to redeem and restore the tragedy of our woeful drama. The Christian church calls it a sacrament. No matter how many they choose to number, sacraments are symbols and enactments of the greatest intervention of all: the one that began against the bare wood of a manger and is called the incarnation.

A sacrament is an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.

(BCP)

This morning you will celebrate two sacraments: baptism and communion. The first is so logical, so perfect and obvious that it almost strikes you as a complete surprise. Of course there will be a baptism! In baptism we are buried in water but rather than drowning we are raised up and out of the water. That raising up initiates and is a visible sign of new life. The past goes under those waters. So do loss, pain and brokenness. So does death and Death itself.

But we rise up out of the waters of baptism to a life that we didn’t think we would get. It is a gift. Redeemed as can only be affected by a god and restored wholly to life: it is an image of eternity.

The second sacrament follows. Communion or the Eucharist, as the Anglicans say, is something we do at almost every church service. Because we have and because we do it makes perfect sense this morning.

No matter the variety of Christian theologies on the Eucharist, they all seem to agree that the sacrament is a way that the Church is invited to experience Jesus’ presence in a tangible and uncommon way.

Interestingly for a moment like this, in baptism and communion you enact something that Jesus did and something that he told his followers to do. If you look at the Last Supper and the few other New Testament references to communion, you see moments in time that are marked by uncertainty for the future, gripped by suffering, death and a loss of all hope. When you add in the admonition to do this often and in remembrance of Me, this morning is blessed with a clarity and the sense of God incarnate who desires to fully join us in all of life.

If we can experience Jesus in these moments, then the Jesus we experience is the same resurrected Jesus that his early followers encountered. The body is physical and is touched. Yes, it is preternatural but it is also real. This body still bears its scars, the wound in the side and the imprint of nails. The Jesus encountered has suffered and the body we meet at this table is meant to be handled.

This is very good news on the slabs of Long Beach.

* * * * * * * * *

The wood that began the incarnation has mostly disappeared, save the occasional crèche in December. The wood that was its climax still stands, in your lives and mine, amidst every act of drama and loss that is shaking this world. It is present on this day. It is there in the endless quagmires, that broad swath of death and war that arcs across continents a half a globe away: the disasters of our own making. Add to that, the muck that was once New Orleans.

Here in the sands and bayous of coastal Mississippi it still stands, towering o’er the wrecks of time.

The mass concludes with an a cappella singing of the Irish Blessing, a long-standing tradition for special services.

May the road rise with you.

May the wind be always at your back.

It is too familiar. It catches you by surprise undermining the final ramparts of feeling that defend the heart.

May the sun shine warm upon your face.

It is the fourth line that is the problem and suddenly everyone knows it:

May the rain fall soft upon your fields.

I think I managed a word or two. Around me, I only heard air coming out in metered time and that wet whistling sound when suddenly puffed cheeks exhale.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Let the whole world see and know that things which were cast down are being raised up and things which had grown old are being made new.

- Anglican Collect (BCP)

It's a Holy, Tough, Good, Weird Time

2006-08-28T19:48:00.000-05:00

Yesterday (Sunday) 120 of us gathered under a canopy over the outoor chapel on our former church site. The outdoor chapel was built in St. Patrick's Park, a green space behind our church that the city maintained as a park and ball field. The outdoor chapel mostly survived the storm (some benches gone but the altar remains). It's all that is left of our church structures.
Bishop Gray joined us and we had a very good turnout. It was a very emotional day, tears flowed freely. During communion we oriented everyone so they were looking out at the ruins of the church and the Gulf beyond. We did annointing (unction) and prayed.
We also baptized two children! And we declared our faith, our hope, our determination.
You can listen to my sermon (it's short on the Knight scale) and see some pictures by clicking here
Tomorrow we have several other things on tap for the actual anniversary, some joint services at the school where we worship and the site of our relief center, and another at the Methodist church in Long Beach.
Folks around here are handling this special date in a variety of ways - but many, many are struggling. Suicide attempts are up, mental health issues abound, kids are acting out big time. Every channel you turn to is showing images and videos of the horror we went through (and still go through). I have told my folks to just turn the blasted TV off. Our minds have ENOUGH images for us all. Plus, people are down right ANGRY that once again, New Orleans gets all the attention. But I guess their anger has to go somewhere.
Tomorrow will be tough. Keep us in your prayers.
By the way, Trip, if you are reading, I used your quote in my sermon - thanks dude!

Anniversary

2006-08-19T21:34:00.000-05:00

Well, it's almost here. The one year anniversary of "the storm" (a reminder to readers - we don't say the name of it down here, it's almost a Valdermort kind of thing - the storm-that-must-not-be-named).
Lots of press are converging. Most will, of course, go to New Orleans, maybe to chase ridiculous rumors a la Spike Lee. Some will visit Mississippi. We'll see the images again, look at the enormous LACK of progress, hear from the thousands still living in trailers, wonder if things will ever even look "that way" again as before and after pictures are shown over and over.
When you drive down the beach road now, in some ways it's worse. So much is overgrown with weeds and bushes, it's hard to tell where the slabs were. The church site is very hard to pick out now, other than the cross we put up, made from the remaining floor joists in the foundation (all that was left).
I can tell the idea of the anniversary is having an interesting affect on me and many others. To me it's depressing. I want to get past it. For others, this significant time will help the grieving process. For our church, we'll see.
Next Sunday (27th) we will gather in the outdoor chapel of the park that we had right behind our church. The actually church site is too dangerous still - too much debris and glass and broken things. We will have church facing the beach and the ruined church. We will share the Eucharist and do healing prayers with annointing with oil. AND - we will have some baptisms!
It struck me that baptism could be the symbol of resurrection hope, of new life, of washing clean, of starting over. I talked to the parents of two children who have been wanting to discuss baptism (they are under 12) and they were very excited to have this take place on that day.
This will make 11 baptisms since Christmas. THAT is a good thing!
Keep praying for us y'all. It's going to be a rough couple of weeks......but BAPTISMS! I think that's very cool......

Back in Town

2006-08-12T20:00:00.000-05:00

Well, I know all my adoring fans have been deeply upset by the lack of posts. I was floored to have The Mad Priest mention my blog (and say nice things about me too!) while I was away.
I am back from 2 weeks of a very nice vacation, and a week with the LW as she has recovered very nicely from surgery earlier this week. We did the surgery about 1 1/2 hours from home because she knows the doc real well, and we have family there to help out. We are home and she's doing great - she's tough!
For vacation I stayed out of town almost the entire two weeks. Living, for a short time, in a "normal" world was often disorienting and at times painful. We are still so far from normal, but it was nice to experience it for a little while.
My son and I spent 3 days at a relative's beach house. We fished, played tennis, went to the movies (twice!), and body surfed. We had a good time, some real nice father - son bonding. He's growing up so fast, almost 13, and getting REALLY tall. He's a good guy too.
Then the 5 of us went to S. Florida and spent 5 days at another relative's house (are you seeing a pattern for this vacation - CHEAP!). It was wonderful there. They have a beautiful home. I played golf, played a little tennis, slept late, swam, ate some excellent food. It was very nice. Our two daughters stayed an extra day, while the LW and my son and I flew to Chicago. It was my first trip back since leaving seminary 4 years ago. We spent 3 days and nights at the Lake Michigan beach house of some very dear friends. We hung out, played in the lake (had BIG waves one day), and, again, ate well! It's good to have friends that not only will invite you to stay with them, they cook good too!
We then traveled to Evanston where Seabury Western Seminary is. We stayed with seminary friends on campus. As I made the drive up Lake Shore to Evanston and entered the town, I was really overwhelmed. I didn't realize just how much I missed that place. My 3 years there were the best of my life. We walked around downtown Evanston, had lunch with my former Rector from Mississippi and his wife (they've retired to Evanston), and then visited the old haunts on campus - chapel, classrooms, etc. Sitting in that chapel was a moving experience. I could hear my friends voices, mostly laughing. We had some good times! Sitting in the classroom was even more weird. I was flooded with so many great memories.
We didn't have time to make it into Chicago, but what a great city that is! I miss it too. Even with the winters I could live in Evanston, but I'd probably have to go alone! Too cold for the LW!
Time to polish tomorrow's sermon. Good to be home.

Communion Thoughts and more....

2006-07-21T15:03:00.000-05:00

Here we are almost a month post GC2006. What an interesting time! Being at GC and being front and center for many of the committee hearings and all of the floor debates, I am constantly shocked by what I hear and read about what we did. So much is inaccurate, so much is subject to wide interpretations. For the most part, I am disheartened by actions taken by various entities and individuals in our church. And I remained amazed at how sexuality completely captures such passion and violent opinions. Would that mission and evanglism, would that love of neighbor, would that the teachings of Christ, like Matthew 5, Matthew 25, Matthew 28, would rule the day.
I have also been struck by how our readings this summer speak so much about reconciliation, about unity, about how our baptism unites us and how we are to be MINISTERS of reconciliation, not ambassadors of division.
I come from the Southern Baptist church. Much of that upbringing still informs me. But one aspect of congregationalist churches is the issue of schism. You get enough people mad at the pastor or upset over the color they painted the walls, and they just leave to start another church. There is no sense of a greater structure, of ecclesial bodies, of Bishops or others in authority. And quite often (I dare say almost without fail), when a church splits in anger, they form an angry church. From that comes, later, another split and another and another. It is a very slippery slope.
As Episcopalians / Anglicans try to figure all this out, I wonder about the long range repurcussions. I wonder about folks wanting to line up under Akinola, until he does something they don't like. I wonder about people who want to choose their bishop, based on criteria they define today, and what happens in 10 years when the church has new people and there are new bishops, do they just choose again? Is that very Anglican, or catholic, at all? Slippery slope.

I keep hearing from "left" side and "right" side folks of what we did or did not do at GC. The special commission on Windsor, and the legislative committee at GC, worked so very hard. They tried to respond and yet be sensitive to various opinions. They presented to us A161, which addressed (not harshly enough in some opinions) the election of Bishops whose manner of life is a problem for the Communion AND also addressed a moratorium (not those words) on blessing same sex unions. One thing I hear constantly from the "conservatives" is how SSUs were not even addressed. This is wrong. A161 addressed them - taking language from A162 (which was combined with A161) the resolution stated :
" The amended A161 had called for The Episcopal Church to “not proceed to develop or authorize Rites for the Blessings of same-sex unions”; to maintain a “breadth of responses” for the pastoral care of gays and lesbians; to offer its regret to the Anglican Communion for the actions of 74th General Convention; to urge dioceses to “refrain from the nomination, election, consent to, and consecration of bishops whose manner of life presents a challenge to the wider church”; and to apologize to those “hurt by these decisions.”

The debate on this resolution was fascinating. Those in full support of Gene Robinson and SSUs were adamantly opposed. Those from the right, very surprisingly, also opposed it (saying it did not go far enough). That was an amazing turn. The "right" folks worked together, called for a vote by orders, and really worked to defeat A161 which, IMHO, did address the Windsor Report, offering regret, promising not to develop rites, and urging refraining from electing gay bishops. This was a well done, difficult-to-achieve resolution and, again in my opinion, brought us as close in line with Windsor as possible for our GC. The conservatives fought it tooth and nail. Some of the liberal members of the special committee spoke for passing the resolution, willing to give up what they considered progress for the greater good of unity and the communion.
So it is disingenuous for conservatives to complain about the lack of resolutions on same sex blessings, when it was the conservatives who fought to defeat the one resolution brought forward dealing with it.
The election of Presiding Bishop was the other amazing thing. I have heard from three Bishops now who report that a group of conservative Bishops, including some retired bishops, once they saw "their" candidate, Charles Jenkins, would not win, voted for Jefforts-Schiori intentionally to cause division and schism in the ECUSA and the Anglican Communion. It is their place to name names, but all three reported this as hearing it first hand.
Folks, this is a sad, sad thing to learn. That Bishops of our church would do something to intentionally cause a split in our church, and do so while hiding behind a secret ballot, is unbelievable. Yet, as in the Joseph story, God can make for good that humans intend for ill. I pray that is the case here, but shame on them for lowering to such levels.
I also decry Bishop Chane and others who, following GC, declared they would just ignore what GC had agreed to. This is just as grievous as the conservative plot to defeat all WR resolutions and elect a woman PB, just to cause trouble. Our church should be ashamed.
The good news is this diverse center, many of whom disagree with each other on sexuality issues, yet believe we can still be the church together, that our unity (see John 17) takes priority, that Jesus told us to be as one SO THAT the world will know who he is. The above actions don't show us as one. Yet many of us believe we can do so.
I also want to come against the way people talk about each other. The stereotypes and really harsh language about those whom which we disagree must stop - we are baptized Christians and should act like it! I am sick of conservatives saying that someone who believes that SSUs could be something that the church can bless, based on their own scriptural and theological reasoning’s and a sense of the Holy Spirit’s presence, that such beliefs equates to that person being anti-Christian, a non-believer, someone who does not agree with the Creeds or the resurrection, etc. This is patently untrue. Those, like Spong, who deny the resurrection, surely they are not Christian. That does not mean all "left" or "liberal" people fall into that camp. And most of the moderates I know profess the Creedal beliefs without hesitation.
I also point out that some in the "liberal" camp put no credence in the Bible or the teachings of the church. They don't allow for the deep, passionate feelings of those on the "right". They are unwilling to listen to their deep held beliefs in Scripture and what the authority of the Bible means to them, and how some of the actions of this church shake that to their core. Their feelings of pain, abandonment, confusion, anger are legitimate responses to this shaking up of their core beliefs. To discount that is unfair and of no use for us in this time of strife.
"From now on consider no one from a human point of view", Paul to Corinth. Paul to Ephesus in this week's reading says, "But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. ¹⁴For he is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us.”

Both groups into one, by the blood of Christ. For He is our peace. The wall has already been broken down. We, the church, need to realize that.

General Convention Thoughts, Part One

2006-06-27T14:38:00.000-05:00

I know, I know. My adoring public has waited anxiously for me to post since leaving for the Episcopal General Convention 2006. I did intend to post during GC, but I was always just too tired! Here are some initial thoughts:
The process is, well, to me, VERY FRUSTRATING! To veterans of GC (this was my 1st time), they just smiled and laughed and nodded, knowingly. It is a legislative process, with committees assigned "legislation" (resolution) to work on, hold hearings on, amend or change or recommend discharge, etc. The committees meet every day, early and late. They debate resolutions assigned to them amongst themselves, and they schedule hearings where anyone can sign up to speak to resolutions. These hearings are posted daily so you can track resolutions you are interested in and be at those committee hearings, speak if you desire, etc.
Our deputation had 7 of 8 deputies assigned to committees, three of them as vice-chairs. We rock! Those of us not on committees were free agents and divided up to follow different resoltuons. I focused on the Evangelism committee and also committee 26, who had the very difficult task of dealing with Windsor Report resolutions.
The committee work is ok, sometimes a struggle but a good way to have different voices heard. It's the House of Deputies floor stuff that drove me insane! When you have over 800 deputies on the floor at once, with a high percentage of large egos, it can get nuts. Obviously there are some people who feel no resolution is worth anything if THEY don't get up to address it. There are others who gleefully wait for their turn at the mic to "move the question" - and thank God for them! I got so tired of debate where people just said the same things over and over and over - look, if your thought has been addressed - KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! The other frustating part was when people would propose amendments that drastically changed resolutions, instead of doing so at committee hearings.
Again, the process is difficult for me. But maybe that's just me.

In addition to that, the other enlightenment was for me to see how much time we spend majoring in the minors. Everyone's pet issue is addressed. Often it's hard to see a connection between one more resolution on global warming and how the Mission of Christ is to be addressed by our church. I missed hearing a lot about Jesus. Instead I heard a lot about Iraq and reperations and environmental waste from Katrina (more on that later) and on and on and on. For instance, the Liturgy and Worship committee had 50 resolutions to deal with. Some of them on some important stuff. Yet on the HoD floor deputies wanted to spend time debating the appropriate date for the feast day of Thurgood Marshall - GO TO THE COMMITTEE MEETING FOLKS and talk about that. Sigh.

The most exciting part of GC was the announcement and then reception of the new Presiding Bishop, The Right Rev. Katherine Jefforts-Schiori. I will have more to say about her election, and the really disappointing behavior of certain bishops in the voting, but for now I can say the Spirit was really alive in the room as the election results were announced and SHOCKED all of us. I don't know her well, or know much about her, so I will withold any judgement of her. Bottom line, she won - and although some intended her election for ill, God, I pray, intends it for good. I heard that line in the Bible.....

More later, friends.

My Hero

2006-06-08T08:13:00.000-05:00

It's not that often in life when the "rest of the world" actually gets to see and understand what you already know. But that happened in the life of my family this week.
My LW was honored as the Hero of the Week by our local TV station. They have been selecting folks each week for acts above and beyond the call of duty during and after Hurricane Katrina (or as we call it "the storm". We almost never say the name of it down here).
My LW is an RN and lost her job from the storm. She had been on enough Honduras medical missions to know how to setup and run a medical clinic, so with our Bishop's permission, she did so. Beginning in a school gym (where we now hold church) without walls and missing some roof, she took some donated meds and with the help of some medical folks who showed up out of nowhere (initially from Virginia and from Meridian, MS), they got busy. They saw 350 patients the 1st day!
A web of docs and other medical personnel from all over the country was soon established - I cannot even describe to you how MUCH she was on her cell phone every day and night coordinating the army of volunteers. They came from everywhere and each of them was deeply touched by the work. When the free clinic was finally merged into a local clinic that she helped setup nearby, they had seen over 22,000 patients for free medical and mental health care. It was an amazing operation, truly amazing.
I am proud of my hero - I hope you are too. To see the video just go to here.

Back Briefly

2006-06-05T16:01:00.000-05:00

Returned from D.C. Wednesday night. 6 adults and 31 teens! We stayed at the National Cathedral and did a "pilgrimage" there Sat. nite. Had the place to ourselves, it was pretty cool. It's an awesome cathedral (duh). Attended church there on Sunday, then we went to the National Zoo for a few hours. It was WAY TOO HOT and WAY TOO CROWDED. From there to Union Station where we took a trolley tour called Monuments by Moonlight. It was awesome. Our guide, Sooner Steve, was the best. We saw so much but as the evening wore on the kids kinda faded. It was a great tour though.
Monday morning (Memorial Day) we split into 3 groups for some service work. My daughter and I took the senior high kids to serve breakfast at So Others May Eat. We left at 620 am. Worked hard and served over 350 folks. Had a good time, I was proud of all of them.
Monday afternoon we did shopping / bowling / movie. Got home late and played some games (gargoyles is a fav of this bunch).
Tuesday was our final day. We went to the National Mall and split into groups based on interest. My group did the Holocaust Museum - it is an amazing and sobering place. I highly recommend it. We also did Air and Space (I loved it). Others did Natural History and Art Museum.
THat night we drove to Baltimore and took in Camden Yards, watching a great game b/t Orioles and Tampa. The kids loved it and we had perfect seats.
Wed. we flew back home and SLEPT a while!
Our Pentecost service was wonderful, with a baptism of the sweetest baby! We had our "traditional" Pentecost picnic and shared it with the wonderful volunteers of Camp Coast Care.
In between returning from DC and Sunday, I drove to Jackson for a GC2006 meeting (I am an alternate deputy), then after church drove an hour to do some family stuff with the LW's family. On the road tooooo much, for sure. I leave Sunday after church for General Convention and will post thoughts from there as often as I can.......

One of those weeks...

2006-05-24T23:59:00.000-05:00

And it's only Wednesday....
Church on Sunday. This time, did NOT give a 100 word sermon!
Much to the disappointment of some of my folks! Monday in the office trying to complete a funeral bulletin for my aunt's service on Tuesday, and a complete program for an ordination on Wednesday. Finished both late.
Tuesday to Meridian where I celebrated and preached the funeral of my wonderful Aunt Sharlie. Got lots of great help from family members, her other nephews, some grand nieces and nephews. Church was packed, which was very sweet since she had not lived in that town for 30 years. We had a private ceremony at the cemetary for family afterwards. It's quite difficult to do these services for loved ones, but an honor as well. And some sweet older lady on the way out said "I've been going to funerals in the Episcopal church for 63 years and that was the best funeral homily I've ever heard"! I am sure my aunt got a kick out of that.
Wednesday we transformed the gym once again, adding seating and decorating with a red backdrop and actually used a red frontal that an adopting church sent us. The place looked GOOD! We had a packed house as we welcomed The Reverend Patrick Sanders, former youth minister of my church and the Episcopal church's newest transitional deacon. The service went VERY well, it's a LOT of work to put an ordination together - he was very appreciative and it was a great night. Wonderful reception afterwards in a tent in front of the school. I was so very proud of my folks - altar guild, hospitality, choir, verger, many hard workers to make this a special night for Patrick and his family.
Lots to do in the office tomorrow, around awards day at my son's school. Then get ready to leave, again! Accompanying our youth group to D.C., leaving 5 am Saturday morning and returning Wednesday. Wish me luck!! Think I should go to bed.....

Valiant

2006-05-19T09:02:00.000-05:00

My travels have continued the last couple of weeks. Much of it was spent in Birmingham at the hospital bedside of my mom's only sibling, who was dying from breast cancer.
My aunt died this past Tuesday morning at 4:30 am. The LW and I, along with her best friend of over 50 years (my aunt was only 60) and her Priest, who was also a dear friend of hers, were all with her.
Bham is abut 5 1/2 hours from here and this was our second trip to be with her in less than a week. Let me tell you, folks, if you don't all have your act together on Living wills, advance directives, power of attorney for health care, and your actual will, SHAME ON YOU. Although, as this story taught me, even having all that stuff does not make this easy.
My aunt had specific instructions not to be on life support, etc. As it became more evident this was the end for her, we (her family) found ourselves at odds with the team of doctors trying to "save" her. They eventually put her on a ventilator, for comfort, which we understood, but we also feared it would be most difficult to remove it. It WAS.
Sunday morning one doc called to say her lab results from a biopsy were back (finally) and the cancer had indeed spread throughout her body. We had suspected as much, as she was so very ill. Surgery was not an option and he said it was time to extubate and make her comfortable. He said he would wait until we got there.
We drove up after church, but when we arrived he and her oncologist had changed their mind! The oncologist especially was being completely unreasonable. I complained as high up the chain as you can on a Sunday night in a hospital, to no avail. We checked into a hotel.
Monday morning we began to meet with the various docs. The oncologist told us that my aunt had clearly told him to "do all you can" and that overrode any living will stuff. He held out hope the cancer was not breast cancer, but rather colon cancer and could be cut out. He obviously had not read the lab report. This was so frustrating. We waited all day until her surgeon, also her friend, showed up and after one look at her and the reports (her heart was really struggling too), stated he would not operate now or ever on her - it was time to help her die as peacefully as possible. All this time my aunt was heavily sedated. In my view, she was already gone, with a machine breathing for her.
The surgeon's report convinced her primary doc, ALSO her friend (she had this affect on everyone), to agree to extubate. He wanted to call the oncologist as a courtesy. Then we were told (by a nurse, this was all by phone with her doctor) since he could not reach the oncologist we would have to wait another day! Well, that was it for me. I got very angry and emotional that my poor aunt was being put through the VERY THING she had said all her life she did not want. I walked out of her room in tears, only to see the primary doc come running over. He was worried that my wife and I were having to drive home, and he did not think that fair to us. He decided to go ahead and remove the vent, and to tell the oncologist whenever he talked to him. Thank you Lord.
My aunt was extubated at 530 pm. She died at 430 am. We were with her the entire time. She died peacefully without a struggle. It was an honor and privilege to be with her. I truly believe part of the fight with these doctors was because they all really loved and cared for her - if you met her, you had no choice! Her life was too short, but the impact was broad and deep, a more caring and compassionate person I have never known.
I will be doing her funeral next Tuesday in her home town. It will be difficult, to say the least, but another privilege for me.
My LW, who has worked in hospice, was amazing during all this. Her care for my aunt and her dealings with the staff were such a gift. The fantastic nurses on the CCU who cared for her were also heros, and supported us the whole time. My aunt's priest is a super guy and he grieves deeply for her. God was with us all.

Travelin' and a dream

2006-05-02T11:05:00.000-05:00

I used to love to travel, especially by air. Now days I don't think anyone likes it. And with gas prices what they are, it becomes more difficult to justify driving vs. flying. When it takes all day to fly somewhere (because we only have direct flights to Atlanta, Memphis, or Houston), plus all the hassel, I had gotten where I would drive every chance I could. But economics now make that decision harder.
I went to Alabama two weeks ago, drove to Kanuga, NC last week for a Province IV meeting, and looks like I will drive about 12 hours this Fri and Sat for a fund raising opportunity for my Parish rebuilding efforts. Lots of time in the car, but sometimes that's ok.
Two weeks ago the LW and I drove to Orange Beach, AL for a FREE respite vacation sponsored by the Foundation for the Mid South and other ministry organizations. We joined 15 other clergy and spouses from the Katrina-affected area. It was good to meet and hear stories from these folks, although I must say our theology regarding the storm was very different in most cases. I was the only Episcopal clergy person, all the rest were Baptist, Methodist, or Church of Christ or non-denom. Yet their passion for the work was inspiring and it was good to be with others who are in the midst of this tragedy. I spent most of my time doing what I needed most - resting. Slept late, laid on the beach, played in the surf with my son, read, slept some more. It was a nice, post-Holy Week retreat.
One night while there I had a dream. I was back at seminary with a lot of classmates (see post below on our classmate, Larry, who died Palm Sunday). I am sure Larry's memorial service was on my brain. I was conducting some sort of seminar, and the audience included teachers, students, and family members and folks who live here. When I had finished my presentation, a disturbing thing happened - I walked over to a classmate and began to sob on his shoulder - begging him not to make me "go back there". I wailed and cried and was so disturbed, I made myself wake up (I do that a lot when dreaming).
I wonder what it could mean...............

A Very Holy Week

2006-04-23T08:07:00.000-05:00

I know it's a little late, but I've been intentionally away from the computer, recovering from what was for me a very powerful and draining Holy Week.
We made the decision to "do" all of HW in the gym where we have our Sunday services - and which also serves as living quarters for the volunteers who come to help our community. We convert their dining area into church every Sunday. We could have used some other local churches, as we did at Christmas and for our Bishop's visit, but there was no where we could go consistently all week, and I thought it too confusing to mix things up. So, with the great help of the Camp Coast Care folks, and with lots of hard work, we declared the gym as holy and sacred in time and space for HW. I think it worked wonderfully well.
We had Eucharist Mon and Tue, then on Wed we did Holy Eucharist with Healing. Formerlly this service was a huge part of who we were at St Patricks, very well attended on Wed evenings, gospel music, healing, Eucharist, then a shared meal. We have missed it terribly (me, especially, for I could truly relax and worship during that service). So we brought it back. Unfortunately, all the HW services were lightly attended by our folks, it was spring break for all the public schools so many were traveling, but also folks here are just plain worn out - and perhaps not really ready to walk to the cross this year. The service, though, was great and we will figure out ways to continue it.
Maundy Thursday was powerful and draining and spiritual. Most of the volunteers joined us (as they would the rest of HW) and washing their feet had special significance to me. We managed to dim lights and strip the altar and hold a watch at the altar of repose in the school building next door.
Two Good Friday services (I used the GF liturgy at noon and at 6) were very powerful to me, although again very lightly attended. I think I do my best preaching on Good Friday. But again, that service was probably too much for our folks to handle right now.
The Easter Vigil was glorious. We rearranged the chairs on the gym floor to focus on the center, where we placed the font. We lit the new fire and processed in with candles. We did 4 lessons, all presented by story tellers, instead of just reading them - they acted them out and put them in their own words. This was a major hit! I preached without a text, not knowing what I would say until I got up. Then we baptized 4 - one infant and 3 others from 15 to 7 years old. That was fantastic! Then it was time for the Alleluia's, we had stage spot lights that once the 3rd Alleluia rang out, came on and illuminated the altar, which was beautifully decorated. We even have a new "reredos", a cloth to match the seasonal color hanging on piping behind the altar. Folks - it looked like CHURCH in there! Bells rang and the lights came on and we welcomed the Easter season.
Easter Sunday was great, lots of faces I haven't seen in a while, wonderful music, an Easter egg hunt afterwards.
Then it was time to collapse! This was HARD to pull off. I have a brand new secretary, so creating bulletins for all these services was a chore. Working with the camp folks and trying to get my own setup folks a vision for each service was challenging. I moved lots of chairs, etc. Yet it proved to be a HW to remember......
If you care to hear the sermons, they are all posted here - just click the Sermons link.

Soon I will post on a most interesting travel week - and remind me to tell you about a couple of dreams. My friend Larry, see post below, was prominent in both of them.

Ode to Larry

2006-04-10T16:00:00.000-05:00

I suppose it was just as it should have been. Palm Sunday. Hosanna.....Crucify.....a phone call that my good friend and seminary classmate, The Rev. Larry Motz, had died after a valiant struggle with cancer.
We waved palms outside the gym. Paraded around to All Glory Laud and Honor, led by our talented organist playing her flute. The gym was pretty full, and a couple of new families joined us. Yet, Larry was on my mind.
I could fill this blog up with stories about my friend. We visited Seabury on the same day, and ended up living one floor apart on our end of the apartment complex on campus. He was class president, I was vice president (after a hotly contested runoff!). We were as different as you can be. Larry, the GQ model, single, impeccably attired at all times. Me with the wife and 3 kids, almost always in a t-shirt and shorts, rarely shaven, loving escaping from the banker attire I had worn for 20 years.
Larry taught me much.....way more than I can express here. I loved him. I learned from him. I worshipped with him. He started a Caritas group on campus to do pastoral care, and my family was their 1st customer (my son was quite ill our 1st year of seminary).
Larry was very funny, saving his expressions and comments for the right time ("you may be seated" - inside joke).
Lord, there is so much more to say.

Yesterday while presiding at Holy Eucharist, I had one of those moments. This will sound weird. It happened to me the very 1st time I celebrated Eucharist after my priest ordination, and on occasions since. While celebrating, sometimes, I am able to observe....well.....myself. It's like I am watching this amazing and risky act while I am doing it. The "awesome-ness" of being the celebrant, at times, speaks to me. Yesterday it happened again, but in a different way. As I was saying the words, I could see Larry. He was in a purple chasuble and stole, a very pretty set, it was one he bought while we were in seminary. I could hear his voice, see him doing the manual acts, holding the elements, breaking the bread. For a brief moment, I thought I would break down, but instead I was strengthened by his presense, I knew he was giving me "that look", and that I needed to carry on. In a sense, we con-celebrated, although no one else knew it. It was a blessing and powerful and...yes...weird. But there was such a sweetness and goodness about it, above all else it was just RIGHT.

I told those classmates of mine that I have spoken to since getting the news, that it is just like Larry to influence us once again - to give us a living example of Holy Week in its fullest, to help us one more time, this week. For Larry has made it through his Good Friday. He had told his Bishop that he feared he would not make it to Easter, when in fact that is exactly what he has done - made it to Easter. So for us that knew him, he has made our Holy Week and Easter a time deeper and richer and sadder and ..... RIGHT.

My brother, may you go from strength to strength in the life of perfect service in God's heavenly kingdom. I will miss you. I will see you again. God bless.

Almost here......

2006-04-04T21:45:00.000-05:00

HOLY WEEK that is.....no better time to be a Priest! I live for this stuff.
I became an Episcopalian a few years after I was confirmed, the 1st time I did the "full meal deal" for Holy Week. WOW....I had been missing SO much as a Baptist! Then seminary taught me the wonder and glory of the Easter Vigil and I have been hooked ever since.
We have an ongoing debate down here, and at my Frest Start group, about the Vigil. Most are not in to it too much. Waste of time....no one comes....what's the use? Me, I gotta have it! I have been doing a TON of teaching since I arrived here about the Vigil, and folks are really supporting it.
This year, Holy Week of course takes on a whole new flavor. Doing all the services in a school gym that is the "home" to 125 volunteers makes it...um...interesting. Lots of time management, moving of chairs and tables, decorating, thinking WAY outside the box - it's a LOT and it's a blast!
My poor new secretary is feeling a little overwhelmed as I keep producing bulletins for all these services. But...I have Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, and Good Friday done AND I have done sermons already for the first two. I suspect I will finish the other three tomorrow - it all has to flow together in my book, so might as well write them together.
We will gather outside the gym and parade around with palms on Sunday....Eucharist on Mon, Tue, and Wed (with healing on Wed). MT, two GF, THE VIGIL, and Easter Sunday followed by a fun egg hunt (eggs provided by the Resurrection Rabbit).
The Vigil will include story telling and 5 baptisms by candelight around a font set in the middle of the gym floor, with chairs encircling the font. I still got to figure out how to "instantly" light the place, the gym lights take forever to warm up.
When our Bishop visited last week, he commented how Bishops from all over the country have told him consistently how our Sunday morning worship in the gym had really been a blessing to the volunteers from their respective dioceses. It was wonderful to hear and really great for our people to hear!
So....come on down...there's work to do and HOLY WEEK TOO!

Defend O Lord your servant.....

2006-03-24T17:43:00.000-06:00

NYC was a blast! The LW and I had one free day (the day we arrived), her 1st trip to the Big Apple. We went to a play on Broadway (Hairspray - it was great and we had GREAT seats thanks to a wonderful volunteer at our relief center who used to work there). We had a wonderful pre-play dinner, then we wandered around Times Square after the show. The weather was perfect and LW was thrilled.
On Wednesday she began her training and orientation for her new (PAYING!!) job. I had a meeting with some church folks, then took the subway up to the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. I enjoyed a self directed tour, and am still amazed by the size of that place, world's largest Cathedral it claims. They are still recovering from a tragic fire that damaged a transept a few years ago. That evening I preached, then gave a Lenten talk at St. James on Madison Ave. This wonderful church was the site of my Plunge experience at seminary, a real highlight of my seminary time. I spent 2 weeks there with two classmates and it was way cool.
They welcomed me with open arms and I was able, I think, to tell the story of St. Patrick's and the Coast of Miss. in ways they had not heard before. They are committed to partner with us in the rebuilding of our church and our community.
Thursday I traveled via subway to 815, the national church offices. There I met with reps from the Episcopal CHurch Foundation, to talk about the new fund raising campaign, From Darkness to Day, chaired by my Bishop and the Bishop of Louisiana. Again I was able to tell our story to folks who appreciated the fresh perspective. I think it always helps to have personal connections to these events.
I then met one of my best friends from seminary for lunch. He is planting a brand new church in the Diocese of Deleware. It was great to catchup and to share in his excitement about the church plant. Those that know me know that church planting has a special place in my heart (although God has had other plans for me so far), so I live through his ministry and pray for him and his work constantly. He will do well, he has the right skills and work ethic for this difficult work.
That evening I joined the LW and her new work friends for a wonderful dinner.
The next morning I went to Ground Zero and visited Trinity Wall Street and St. Paul's - a holy place if there ever was one.
Our perfect trip got weird on the way home. Due to a security breach at LaGuardia, we were over 3 hours late leaving (for another time my thoughts on how totally inept Homeland Security and TSA are), and ended up spending the night in Memphis. I made it to the workshop I was helping to host by their lunch break the next day. Fortunately, some good folks were able to step in and everything was fine.
Whew...that's a lot. I will end with this - we had our annual visitation of our Bishop last night. We are the 1st church on the coast to host this occasion. We met in the Methodist church (they've been SO GOOD to us). We had a nice turnout, a great message, a very nice service and an incredible reception. Two baptisms and NINE ADULT confirmations! I am so thrilled over the confirmation class, it really speaks to the hope people have for us.
Lastly, one of the difficult things I have hinted to recently has seen some hope. Reconciliation is taking place, thanks be to God. And thank YOU for your prayers - they are being answered.

Tired

2006-03-03T18:30:00.000-06:00

I am really, really tired of being tired.

I think fatigue is another storm symptom. It seems like with each passing day, we are getting nowhere. I know it’s not true, but it just FEELS like that, most of the time.

I know that’s the wisdom of the small victories I talked about earlier. The big picture is just too overwhelming. But when you see all this stuff on the six month anniversary, and you know hurricane season is under 100 days away, and the beach area still looks like Hiroshoma, it gets to you. Click on St. Casserole’s blog (a great one to read, by the way) for some recent pics. RECENT is the key word, six months out.

I have been at my church now for two years. Two years ago, I started here right after Lent had begun. Last year I was in Honduras with our medical mission team for Ash Wed. This year, we did the service with the good folks at the Methodist church. They have been so very gracious to us, allowing us to use their facilities for important events. Yet I sensed in my folks such a yearning to have “our” service in “our” space, whatever that may be. We gotta get out of the gym. I just don’t know how to make it happen quickly.

Next week I travel to NYC. The LW is getting oriented on her new job, and I will speak at St. James on Madison Ave. I spent 2 weeks there in seminary, it’s a great church. They want to help. I hope I can tell our story in ways that allows folks to really hear and see and want to help.

But first – I think I want a nap.

Small Victories

2006-02-16T11:05:00.000-06:00

I know, I know. I wait too long in between posts to think anyone is ever going to continue to stop by and read what I have to say. But, I am not giving up (yet) on the blog, so here goes some updating.

It's been such a busy 5 or 6 weeks. From the parish cleanup day on our church site at the beach, to our Annual Meeting where we listened to our people tell of their pain and sorrow and hope over the rebuilding of our church, in particular to returning to the beach site or not, to our Diocesan Annual Council, which was excellent by the way, to a vestry retreat, to now - it's been non-stop. In between we've waded in the waters again - as we finally had water connected to the office trailer only to have a pipe burst and flood the main office. It remains disconnected, finding folks to work on such minimal problems is impossible.
The events described above have been both affirming and difficult. Under the surface I have been subjected to, let's say, some painful times. I am unsure as to why, and totally confused as to what about, and can only pray in my despair.
However, the vestry retreat was superb - the best one I have ever been a part of. Our leader did a wonderful job and we all came out of it refocused on the tasks ahead. He helped us see the value of claiming "small victories" along the way, recognizing that the overall tasks ahead of us are so huge that it's hard to chip away at them.
We have already claimed some SVs and more coming soon. I also sense a rededicated group willing to establish good norms in how we work together.
Out of pain comes hope.....

Still processing....

2006-01-29T08:17:00.000-06:00

I can't really say much yet regarding the Annual Meeting. We allowed folks time to speak about their desires, about the pain of losing their church, about the holy ground that we may or may not return to. It was important and moving and good.
But a couple of things happened in that time that I need to reflect on internally. They were quite painful to me, personally. I cannot go into details in this forum. It was a sleepless night....

Progress??..

2006-01-23T22:51:00.000-06:00

Are we making progress? How do we progress? Two good and different questions...
Lately the signs have been mixed. Some folk do seem to be getting there. Little signs of hope, of change. Some of the debris piles are beginning to disappear (although not along the beach). New construction is still a long way off as local officials struggle with elevation requirements and building codes. One of my folks was told that it may be as long as 24 months before sewer service is available to his slab....how can you think about rebuilding without water and sewer? So two steps forward and 1 or 2 or 5 back....
Two Saturdays ago the people of St. Patrick's gathered corporately on our beach property for the 1st time since the storm (we don't say Katrina any more - it's just "THE STORM"). We worked hard cleaning the lot, then had a box lunch. We then made our way to our outdoor chapel, most of it was ok, in the park behind our church that we had donated to the city 4 years ago. We had Eucharist and my deacon and I laid hands and annointed the people with healing prayer and oil. Our seminarian, former youth minister, played and sang for us (he is quite the musician / singer). It was a very cathartic time, lots of tears were shed.
This coming Saturday we will have our Annual Meeting. We will elect 4 to vestry, then we will move into a "town hall" type meeting. During that time parishioners are invited to share their thinking, their hopes and dreams, their comments, on where to rebuild our church - return to the beach or not. We are also receiving written comments.
In letters sent out by me this week, I have stressed to everyone that the container for our deliberations must be the mission of our church - why are we here, who are we called to be. That must determine where we go, along with the practical and emotional pieces.
I appreciate your prayers as we go through this important and difficult process.

Weathering the Storms

2006-01-12T18:53:00.000-06:00

Jan. 4 - 7 the National Episcopal church hosted a conference in Orlando called Weathering the Storms (WTS). Sponsored by the Church Pension Fund and put on by CREDO, they gathered clergy from the impact areas of Katrina, Rita and other storms. Families were TOTALLY included, as well as diocesan support staffs (and 3 bishops).
This is perhaps the best event / conference I have ever attended. The 5 Knight's went down a day early (being the BAD BAD parents we are, having NEVER taken our children to Evil Land...er....I mean Disney) to have some fun. And BOY did we.
The first day we made it to the hotel and our room was ready EARLY! We were staying at the Marriot World Center, and amazing place. We headed to the pool (they have 7) and ended up at a pool and hot tub that was unoccupied by any non-Knights! For several hours we played, laughed, swam, soaked, played water volleyball together, just me, the LW, the 20 yr old LD, the 18 yr old LD and the 12 yr old LS. I cannot remember a time when the 5 of us have laughed and relaxed so well together. It was SUCH A BLESSING!! And our older children did not have to worry about being embarrassed hanging with the parents, cuz no one else was around. SWEET!
The next day we went to Disney MGM. It was OK. Long lines, expensive, only couple of rides worth doing - I truly do not get the whole Disney thing!
The conference started that evening. We were reunited with some dear friends from seminary who are now in Baton Rouge doing great work, and our former seminary Dean and his LW, he is now Director of Mission for the Ep. Church and did a great presentation. They are also good friends of ours and we really loved being with them again.
One of the best gifts of the conference was the freedom to do whatever we wanted - attend sessions, or blow them off! I did some of both. Played a round of golf. Got a goooooood massage. LW got a facial. They had planned activities for all the different age groups of kids (there were almsot 60 there under 18). The sessions I attended were SUPERB. The off time was awesome. The food tremendous.
We learned a lot about rest, about respite, about compassion fatigue, about taking care of ourselves. We networked and shared stories and made connections. We laughed and drank and laughed, gathering in the hot tub for "adult swim" time each evening. So fun.
I snuck out on Friday and took my 12 yr old LS to Epcot (man, I will NEVER go there again, but he liked it ok). Then on Sat after lunch, when the conference had ended, 16 of us went to Universal Studios and had a BLAST. It was quite cold, so the crowds were not too bad. I much prefer it to Disney. We would have done the Islands of Adventure but most of it is water rides and it was far to cold for that.
It was a great, great trip. I will have more to say about "re-entry" soon, but for now, thank you Lord for WTS!

Some links of interest

2005-12-22T10:10:00.000-06:00

The Coast newspaper, the Sun Herald, has done an amazing job since Katrina (and the same can be said for our local TV station - WLOX). Like so many other businesses on the Coast, they have run with a skeleton staff, all of which were suffering from great loss. For weeks and weeeks after the storm they distributed the paper free all over the coast. The information was so needed and timely and was often the only way we knew about things going on, aid that was coming, drinking water safety (HEY - I CAN DRINK MY WATER NOW....WOOHOO), etc.
There are two links I want you to look at if you have time. The first is a series of before and after images. Once you get to the link, scroll down to select various scenes. I know most of you are not familiar with these properties, but you can still get a feel for the destruction. You need to realize as you look at a picture, that the same destruction extends the length of our Coast, especially from Waveland (near New Orleans) to Biloxi. It's the same view over and over again. Click HERE .

The other is an editorial that echoes some of my own thoughts. As I have traveled around preaching and talking about our situation, I am constantly being told by folks "we had no idea how bad it was in Mississippi". The focus on New Orleans really has taken attention away from us, the editorial speaks of a true thing, for I have run across this time and again. In addition, there are some stats at the bottom that help folks understand how bad it truly is. I use these wherever I go as well. Click HERE .

I am so appreciative of all the support and prayers from all over the country. It is overwhelming. The body of Christ continues to be present in powerful ways for us. This will be a strange Christmas for sure. We will gather at the local Lutheran church on Christmas Eve. We will celebrate the Greatest Christmas Ever. Pray for my folks, they are in a slump as the holidays overpower us. During this sermon , (ignore the wrongly named file, it IS from Year B) I absolved them from feeling guilty about not producing a "normal" Christmas, I hope they were able to receive that.
Blessings to all....Merry Christmas.

Waiting and watching...

2005-12-08T14:53:00.000-06:00

So easy to preach Advent this year. We are all forced to be living testimonies to waiting and watching....on many days it's all we do.
I was very proud of our local gov. folks giving it to Congress in hearings this week. Much of the recovery work has slowed or has not even started because we cannot get funding. The GREAT FEAR of being forgotten looms over us, and the reaction of congress-people from other areas is disheartening. I wish they would all come for a visit, see it for yourselves, work in the relief center, talk to the folks still coming for the basics of life. Spend the night in a FEMA travel trailer with 6 family members, if they dare, or better yet on a tent on a slab because you STILL WAIT for the trailer long promised, which they can't deliver, by the way, because the debris they promised to move off your lot 4 weeks ago still sits.
The job is TOO massive folks. It will take more time and more resources and more people and more money than ANYTHING WE'VE EVER HAD TO DO BEFORE. You can't judge by past storms, you can't judge by the 4 that hit Florida last year, one Katrina has done more than all those combined and then some.
So we wait....and watch.....and wonder if anything we are doing is the right thing....

Sermons here

Trailer Time

2005-12-01T09:04:00.000-06:00

My office trailer has been setup! A bunch of great volunteers moved it last week. The furniture has been installed. We just need ELECTRICITY to be functional. Maybe soon....
I posted last time about media blitz - and now there is MORE. My LW and I and George Werner are on the cover of our diocesan newspaper and the same pic is page 2 of Episcopal Life. Plus the LW's pic with this so cute baby in the medical clinic is on a full page add from erd. Sigh, the paparazzi are all over us!
We spent Thanksgiving in SE Florida with family, then traveled to Marco Island on the SW Coast where I preached on Sunday. Their rector is the former rector of my church and he has been incredibly supportive and involved in our recovery. If you go here you can listen to that sermon (and others).
Restore us o God, let your face shine, that we may be saved.....
Again the Psalms speak to me in this terrible time.

Thank you all for your prayers and continued support. They mean more they I can say.

Media Star and Seminary Friends

2005-11-16T16:45:00.000-06:00

It's been a very interesting few days. It's Seabury Reunion time at Camp Coast Care. One classmate arrived last Friday and two others came on Monday, a fourth arrives tomorrow. They are all WORKING VERY HARD! I am so proud of them, and so very grateful that they are here. It is interesting, also, to preach in front of them, but mostly it's FUN.
They are so helpful to me. I tell people all the time that I don't have a &^%$* clue what I am doing. Bouncing things off of good friends whose advice I covet and appreciate is helping me with some struggles. Plus, I can let off steam around them and be comforted.
Today I drove two of them around the beach area, with a parishioner of one. I have made that journey countless times since Aug 29, but it is still hard. I am a little numb to the damage, and today I could even see some signs of advanced debris cleanup, but the task is SO huge. Couple that with the unexpected cold snap, and folks around here are deeply struggling. And I confess - I am whipped. I am tired and confused and drained and questioning. The hugs from friends are much needed these days.
As to "media star", my very unflattering picture is on the cover of both the Arizona Episcopalian and the Virginia Episcopalian - and today I was interviewed by the local newspaper. I am SURE I will be misquoted (that's my excuse and I am sticking to it). Anyway, it is very, very WEIRD to be in those papers, and I have received calls already from people and churches in both dioceses wanting to help. So THANKS to my unknown Arizona and Virginia friends!

Preachin'

2005-11-10T21:10:00.000-06:00

I think I've mentioned before how different preaching is these days. Not just from the post-hurricane standpoint, but also because we often have 40 or more guests - volunteers serving at our relief center. They live in the gym where we hold services. They bring energy and enthusiasm to the service, they laugh at my old jokes, and they cry - a LOT.
We are blessed to have them and they influence what I say each week.
Last Sunday's All Saint's sermon included the volunteers in a big way. I will post a link when it gets online (yes, I am audio recording sermons again).

Jane Ellen asked me to post the new congregational prayer. It is glommed from various sources, some to do with new church plants, some with new buildings, etc. We will use it for church services and vestry meetings. I have asked my vestry to keep it in their cars and pray it as they investigate various real estate properties around town as potential church sites. It is posted below.
Meanwhile, please keep praying and coming. The work is so long and hard and overwhelming. I was back at church site today. It is still so hard to go there. The debris and the smell and the absolute RIDICULOUSNESS of how much is destroyed is beyond the senses.
FEMA reported today that Katrina had the highest ever recorded storm surge - over 35 feet in Pass Christian, which is where I live and 5 miles from my church. We never had a chance. The surge was more than 10 feet higher than Camille, the previous monster storm. All the more reason to pray:

O Lord God of Israel, the heavens cannot contain you, yet
you are pleased to dwell in the midst of your people, and
have moved us to set apart a space on which to rebuild a house
of prayer: Send us your Spirit, that we may learn what you would have us do and the words and
witness you would have us offer, Guide us as we continue your work;
show us the field in which to plant that your Kingdom may come and your power be revealed in this community; to the glory of your Name. Amen.

So many Saints, so little time

2005-11-05T13:28:00.000-06:00

Lots of activity on the church rebuild front this week....
The folks who run the Industrial Park very near where we currently meet at the school, have graciously allotted us over 2 acres to use for a temporary location! This is most exciting. We will move the office trailer over there next week, and should be able to occupy it by the end of the week. Next up - finding temporary worship space to put on the same property.
Meanwhile we are awaiting word from gov. officials regarding feasibility of rebuilding on the beach site, and we are also checking out property north of the beach should we so choose. I put together a prayer, glommed from several sources, for our folks to use during this time of discernment over where we should build.
The relief center and medical clinic are actually busier now than ever. Probably because many other such sites have closed recently.
CNN and Time want to interview my LW, who has made this miracle happen at the medical clinic. It is amazing what has gone on and the numbers of people served.
Saints fill our relief center everyday. They come from all over and each is changed by their being here. The gospel gets preached powerfully 24 X 7. I am privileged to get to watch and listen.
More seminary friends are coming soon - YEA! And our new friend, Jen H. left Thursday (booo!). She was the perfect saint - working in the clinic during the day and doing stuff for us around the house at night, laundry, cleaning, etc. What a blessing she is to us! COME BACK SOON!
CNN has been running more stuff on the Miss. recovery, including a video diary by a senior at Long Beach High School (Long Beach is where my church was / is). If you missed it, some of the video is on cnn.com. It will make you cry.
See ya, Saints...

Let them bring me to your holy hill

2005-10-30T07:09:00.000-06:00

I know it's been a little while since posting. The days and weeks all run together.
Since I last wrote, the LW and I had a wonderful trip to California. There I officiated her brother's wedding in Napa Valley, preached at one church, did a Q&A at another, and met with two others. We were able to raise awareness and money for ST. Patrick's and the Gulf Coast. Plus, at the end of all the "work", LW and I had two very nice days in Oakland and in the Valley.
And, the truth is, it was VERY hard to come back home.
Meanwhile we plug along. My vestry has begun pushing for us to make some decisions on where to build and when. We have begun evaluating land, talking to officials about the feasibility of the former site, and looking at temporary office and worship space. Some good news on that over the weekend that I hope to report soon. I have underestimated the importance to my people-in-exile of having a church home, where we are not the visitors every Sunday morning. So I am now clear on that, and we will resolve that soon, I hope. Many of our adopting / partnering churches are ready to help make that happen as well.
In addition to all of your prayers for our church and people, please pray for my parents. My father is facing some difficult health problems, and over the weekend that became even more apparent. We see some docs tomorrow. My mother is a wonderful care giver, but this will be an enormous challenge.
Speaking of prayer, that is my sermon for today. I will talk about praying - and my own struggle with prayer post-Katrina. I am reminded of John Drebilbis (beloved Seabury prof) who often asked me "how is your soul"?
I do pray. But I struggle to PRAY....I don't know if that makes sense or not. But I am committed to following Jesus' example of praying through all things, of carving out that special time of communing with God, of being led by the Light and the Truth that is Jesus Christ, led to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy. How then can my soul be cast down, disquieted?

That's the sermon. I wing them mostly these days, although I am again recording them and posting to our web site. The idea is above, what will come out I am not sure of. I am sure of this - we must pray.

Six Weeks.....forgotten????

2005-10-13T17:43:00.000-05:00

We have officially entered the "despair zone", and of great concern to me is how the focus of our nation seems to have moved on. Not to say that the recent disasters in Pakistan and Mexico shouldn't take up much needed attention and appeals for help. But debates over woefully inexperienced Court appointees, and etc. now occupy much of the media's attention. I wonder if those outside our region have a clue of the desperate situation we are in.
While some areas of the Coast are up and running, with a few businesses getting online, we still are in a stage of mass destruction cleanup and the need for the basics of life. Our relief center continues to see 100s a day, and we are very short on food and other supplies. We send appeals out now (we didn't have to for a long time), as folks need the free food so they can spend what litle money they have on other things. Many are jobless, with not much hope on that front in the short term.
I know this is not the most popular of blogs in the internet world, but I did seem to have a lot more visitors leaving comments in the early days of Katrina recovery. I don't see that any more. And as I puruse the blogs that I read most often, rarely is the storm mentioned any more. Being forgotten worries me more than the threat of more storms. This will be a long, long haul folks. Keep us in your prayers. Keep coming to help. Keep helping us think of how to put it back together again.

I will be in California this weekend. It was a pre-storm scheduled trip to do a family wedding, but now while there I am visiting several churches in the Bay Area to talk about Katrina and to raise money for the recovery efforts. Plus, the LW and I get a chance to escape the madness for a few days, and for our sanity we must do so from time to time. Problem is, we have to come back. Just typing that depresses me. This is the challenge of a life time. Don't forget us.

Doctors Without Orders

2005-10-07T22:26:00.000-05:00

First, for those who wanted to see the sermon for Oct 2nd, click HERE. I did not record it and the Word file is just what I remember from what I said.

I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of my LW (seen in the clinic at right). Right after the hurricane she decided what we needed was a free medical clinic - this was two days post-storm (mainly because she knows how to do medical missions, she no longer has a job - clinic destroyed and no jobs in town). After I asked the Bishop for permission, she ran with it. Having been on Honduras Medical Missions for years, she knew how to get a clinic up and going. Our Diocesan Panama Misison sent meds and supplies to get us started (and their team is working here this week). From our relief center she somehow connected with a group from Meridian that came down and got us going. A group from Charlottesville, VA came too (they were GREAT). Following them came Duke University ( wonderful team). The U of Miami now sends a group weekly - all hard workers. We've had docs and nurses and pharmacists from Canada, Indiana, Kansas....on and on the list goes. They began seeing 300 patients a day, it's around 125 now. They now go out in vans to mobile sites - FEMA trailer cities where people have been deposited with no food, no cars, no gas, no medical, no NOTHING. We have found 3 such sites this week and send supplies and medical personnel to them. It's very sad.
Anyway, I find myself very impressed with the medical community in America. So many have come, not just to our clinic but also to many others on the coast, giving of time and meds and skills to help us in our need. Bless them all. But mostly, I am impressed with my wife. From deep tragedy she saw a way to use the gifts God has given her, and the result is that literally thousands of people have gotten medical care these 5 weeks. She is amazing.
The folks working our medical clinic gave themselves the name "Doctors without Orders". Another group preferred "Doctors without Lawyers". Either way, thanks for coming. We need you. We need you bad.